Today's glimpse into the madcap mind of Neyland D. Catt is a bouncy little number called "Fun with Captcha words". For those of you who don't know what a captcha word is, just try posting a comment on this or nearly any other blog. They are the bizzare little "words" that you have to type in to prove that you are not a bot. Which is kinda unfair when you think about it. Robots are being discriminated against. Why shouldn't they have the same rights as the rest of us when it comes to commenting on blogs? Stop the madness! Give robots equal rights!
Sorry. Back to the topic at hand... captcha words. I've made more than a few comments on blogs around the interwebbernets, so I've seen my fair share of these little buggers.* Some people that I've talked to are quite confused as to what these words mean. So, today I am going to share some definitions of captcha words that you may see during your daily surfing session.
Undists - (Uhn disseds, noun) 1.Similar in nature to nudists. Undists wear only their underwear. They live in secluded communities or are sometimes found lounging on living room couches. 2.Undists may also refer to people who have been "dissed", but the dis has later been retracted, caused them to be undissed.
Inats - (Eye Naats, noun) 1.Apple's sleek, robotic version of the common gnat. Now conveniently compatible with iPads, iPods, and iTunes. These gizmos fly around playing your pirated mp3's, but are still authentically annoying like real gnats.
Pillizine - (Pihl Ah Zeen, noun) 1.A monthly publication, much like a magazine, that is devoted entirely to the subject matter of pills. Notable subscribers include Lindsey Lohan and Mel Gibson.
Unnedur - (uhn neh dehr, preposition) 1.In a position or state one level below under. 2.May also be used as a noun to refer to someone who says "uh" excessively in their sentences.
Subvolin - (suhb voh lin, noun) 1.A type of stringed musical instrument similar to a violin. Is typically described as an electric bass violin. This instrument is currently popular with the worst possible types of hip hop artists.
Waxpulik - (wacks pew lick, noun) 1. Just like a normal pulik, but made of wax. Duh.
*********************************
Okay. There ya go. That should clear up some of the confusion regarding these words. Webster's will probably be ripping off my definitions any day now. See you crazy kids tomorrow for the next installment of Cheerz and Jeerz
Neyland D. Catt
*Neylo has commented on quite a few blog posts. If he has commented on one of yours, then I apologize profusely. I can only hope there weren't too many expletives.
Showing posts with label Lindsey Lohan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lindsey Lohan. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Monday, November 1, 2010
Catching Up
Well... here we are again. Monday. Garfield can stuff it. Mondays are alright by me. Time to catch up after what has been a very busy week and weekend. First up is the new addition... Luna.
Yes. Thats right my friends, there is a new cat in our household and her name is Luna. Because she is Looney. Looney as a loon cake.* I will have a picture of said sociopath tomorrow. I personally do not condone her presence in my neatly ordered little world. At the moment there is not a lot I can do other than complain. The time will come however... I am a patient cat. Luna constantly howls for attention and sounds like a cat who has smoked three packs of cigarettes a day for the last ten years. She also seems to have some difficulty figuring out how the litter box works. How hard can it be?? Deposit. Cover. Repeat as needed. I do, however, find a great deal of amusement from watching her shred various parts of Big Pinkie's body with her Wolverine-like claws. The dude looks like he lost a street fight with a weedeater. Things are tense at the moment and there is a tenuous truce of sorts. Gracie stays in the western portion of the house, Luna stays in the eastern, and the rest of us own the territories in between. It's like a Feline Gaza Strip.
In other news, tomorrow is election day. Heathcliff and Bill the Cat have once again been left off the ballots by the human-centric political machine. Despite this disgusting oversight, everyone should get out and vote. It doesn't matter if you are a Republicat or a Democat, it's your duty as an Americat to vote. Just don't vote for any armadillos. They don't know how to govern.
Lindsey Lohan will once again be avoiding jail time. One more go around in rehab. Anyone remember the definition of insanity?
Finally, I regret to say that I will be joining the ranks of the facebookers very soon. This frightens me and fills me with shame. I really didn't want to contribute to the proliferation of social media, but apparently the anti-social media movement is just not catching on. I'll let you all know how to find me on facebook when I have completed the paperwork and have officially sold out.
See you tomorrow with pictures of Luna and other stuff.
Neyland D. Catt
*Neyland doesn't do too well with sayings like this. I offered "nutty as a fruit cake" but was rebuffed. Thankfully, I was able to prevent "crazier than a tree full of crazies" and "crazy as a hybrid car with nuts in the trunk". I just don't think he gets the concept.
Yes. Thats right my friends, there is a new cat in our household and her name is Luna. Because she is Looney. Looney as a loon cake.* I will have a picture of said sociopath tomorrow. I personally do not condone her presence in my neatly ordered little world. At the moment there is not a lot I can do other than complain. The time will come however... I am a patient cat. Luna constantly howls for attention and sounds like a cat who has smoked three packs of cigarettes a day for the last ten years. She also seems to have some difficulty figuring out how the litter box works. How hard can it be?? Deposit. Cover. Repeat as needed. I do, however, find a great deal of amusement from watching her shred various parts of Big Pinkie's body with her Wolverine-like claws. The dude looks like he lost a street fight with a weedeater. Things are tense at the moment and there is a tenuous truce of sorts. Gracie stays in the western portion of the house, Luna stays in the eastern, and the rest of us own the territories in between. It's like a Feline Gaza Strip.
In other news, tomorrow is election day. Heathcliff and Bill the Cat have once again been left off the ballots by the human-centric political machine. Despite this disgusting oversight, everyone should get out and vote. It doesn't matter if you are a Republicat or a Democat, it's your duty as an Americat to vote. Just don't vote for any armadillos. They don't know how to govern.
Lindsey Lohan will once again be avoiding jail time. One more go around in rehab. Anyone remember the definition of insanity?
Finally, I regret to say that I will be joining the ranks of the facebookers very soon. This frightens me and fills me with shame. I really didn't want to contribute to the proliferation of social media, but apparently the anti-social media movement is just not catching on. I'll let you all know how to find me on facebook when I have completed the paperwork and have officially sold out.
See you tomorrow with pictures of Luna and other stuff.
Neyland D. Catt
*Neyland doesn't do too well with sayings like this. I offered "nutty as a fruit cake" but was rebuffed. Thankfully, I was able to prevent "crazier than a tree full of crazies" and "crazy as a hybrid car with nuts in the trunk". I just don't think he gets the concept.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Neylo's Intellectual Roundtable - Episode 2
<For those of you who did not read yesterday's post, this might be confusing. This is the second part of a roundtable discussion style show hosted by Neyland D. Cat. He is joined by Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, and Toucan Sam. They are discussing various topics understood only by really smart people. You might want to read yesterday's post if you are interested or skip the whole week and come back later in hopes that there will be some cute pictures or something. It's what I wanted to do...>
Neyland - All right folks, we are back. Thanks for stopping back by after that extended commercial break. (Brushes blue feathers from his chin)
The Situation - Hey! What happened to the bird man?
Neyland - Huh? What are you- oh! Toucan Sam! Yeah. Where did he go?
Britney Spears - I think we all know. (All eyes slowly turn to Neyland)
Neyland - Oh yeah! Blame it on the cat! The obvious suspect! It could have just as easily been Lohan! Maybe she thought he was a big tasty pill and gobbled him up!
Britney Spears - That's not funny y'all! That bird was nice to me.
Lindsey Lohan - Ackpt! Gurgle!
Neyland - Well said Lohan. Toucan Sam was only nice to you because he thought you were easy. Alright, yes I ate Toucan Sam. Fact of the matter is, I'm a cat and he was a bird. I was destined to eat him. Besides, the Fruit Loops people want to go in a new direction anyway. They want to use Mel Gibson as their new spokesman, because nobody is more fruit looped than Mel.
The Situation - Wow! That is a messed up situation!
Neyland - If you plug your own name one more time, I'm going punch you in the mouth. Now, on to our next topic: the space program. Which should be our next destination - Mars or the Moon? The Situation, we will start with you.
The Situation - Man! That's a tough question Mr. Orange Cat-man. I'm going to say Mars.
Neyland - Okay. Why?
The Situation - Because men are from Mars and I'm a man.
Neyland - You disgust me. Britwit?
Britney Spears - Mars. I'm goin' with Mars too y'all.
Neyland - Dare I ask why?
Britney Spears - Cuz men are from Mars and I like men.
The Situation - Whoa! Bam! That's what I'm talking about! Have you seen my abs?
Neyland - Lift that shirt and die Jersey Boy. Lohan, what incomprehensible sound have you got for me?
Lindsey Lohan - Well Neyland, I believe that we need to establish a fully functional base on the Moon before we look to further our explorations. One reason for my opinion is that by using the moon as a staging area, we wouldn't have Earth's gravity to deal with, so we wouldn't need the same type of costly rockets when we probe deeper into the solar system. Oh my, I seem to have become devastatingly sober!
Neyland - Alright, on that note we will wrap up today's program. I had a few more questions, but it appears that Britney and The Situation have decided that making out on my set is perfectly acceptable and Lohan is now drinking what looks to be floor polish in an attempt to return to HappyDrugLand. I'll see you all back here if we're not cancelled.
*************************************
We'll be back tomorrow with another Letters From The Edge. This time with real letters and comments!
Neyland D. Catt
Neyland - All right folks, we are back. Thanks for stopping back by after that extended commercial break. (Brushes blue feathers from his chin)
The Situation - Hey! What happened to the bird man?
Neyland - Huh? What are you- oh! Toucan Sam! Yeah. Where did he go?
Britney Spears - I think we all know. (All eyes slowly turn to Neyland)
Neyland - Oh yeah! Blame it on the cat! The obvious suspect! It could have just as easily been Lohan! Maybe she thought he was a big tasty pill and gobbled him up!
Britney Spears - That's not funny y'all! That bird was nice to me.
Lindsey Lohan - Ackpt! Gurgle!
Neyland - Well said Lohan. Toucan Sam was only nice to you because he thought you were easy. Alright, yes I ate Toucan Sam. Fact of the matter is, I'm a cat and he was a bird. I was destined to eat him. Besides, the Fruit Loops people want to go in a new direction anyway. They want to use Mel Gibson as their new spokesman, because nobody is more fruit looped than Mel.
The Situation - Wow! That is a messed up situation!
Neyland - If you plug your own name one more time, I'm going punch you in the mouth. Now, on to our next topic: the space program. Which should be our next destination - Mars or the Moon? The Situation, we will start with you.
The Situation - Man! That's a tough question Mr. Orange Cat-man. I'm going to say Mars.
Neyland - Okay. Why?
The Situation - Because men are from Mars and I'm a man.
Neyland - You disgust me. Britwit?
Britney Spears - Mars. I'm goin' with Mars too y'all.
Neyland - Dare I ask why?
Britney Spears - Cuz men are from Mars and I like men.
The Situation - Whoa! Bam! That's what I'm talking about! Have you seen my abs?
Neyland - Lift that shirt and die Jersey Boy. Lohan, what incomprehensible sound have you got for me?
Lindsey Lohan - Well Neyland, I believe that we need to establish a fully functional base on the Moon before we look to further our explorations. One reason for my opinion is that by using the moon as a staging area, we wouldn't have Earth's gravity to deal with, so we wouldn't need the same type of costly rockets when we probe deeper into the solar system. Oh my, I seem to have become devastatingly sober!
Neyland - Alright, on that note we will wrap up today's program. I had a few more questions, but it appears that Britney and The Situation have decided that making out on my set is perfectly acceptable and Lohan is now drinking what looks to be floor polish in an attempt to return to HappyDrugLand. I'll see you all back here if we're not cancelled.
*************************************
We'll be back tomorrow with another Letters From The Edge. This time with real letters and comments!
Neyland D. Catt
Monday, October 18, 2010
Neylo's Intellectual Roundtable - Episode 1
Hello and welcome to the first episode of Neylo's Intellectual Roundtable. I am your host, Neyland D. Catt and today I am bringing you a gathering of the nation's foremost intellectual giants to discuss some hot-button issues. Trust me when I tell you that these are the big brains. The Einsteins. Joining me today are Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, who is a self-professed genius of working out and stuff. Next to him is Britney Spears, an expert in re-animation. She is obviously tops in her field, as she has resurrected her own career more times than a Night of The Living Dead movie. Beside Brit is, of course, Lindsey Lohan, who is an expert at making people believe she is important. And finally we have Toucan Sam, beloved cartoon mascot. he is an expert at being a cereal whore. Alright, let's begin...
Neyland - Our first topic tonight is Satire in the Enlightenment. Who was the more influential satirist: Voltaire or Samuel Johnson? We'll start with Britney Spears.
Britney - Uh. What now?
Neyland - Voltaire or Johnson, Brit.
Britney - Dang y'all! That's a tough one, y'all!
Neyland - Nevermind. Situation?
The Situation - I'd just like to say "What's up?" to everybody out there watching! I'm up here interlectualizing to prove there's more to me than just this fantastic set of abs. (Stands up and removes shirt to show abs)
Neyland - Whatever. Who was more influential?
The Situation - I'm really not sure which of them guys was more influenza. Can I phone a friend?
Neyland - Wrong show there abs of steel.
The Situation - I just hate to get it wrong, you know?
Neyland - There's no right or wrong answer wise guy. You don't think this is a game show do you? There's no prize. There's not even a winner. This is just a discussion.
The Situation - Uh oh. Looks like we got ourselves a situation! (Grins lamely at the camera)
Neyland - Hmm. No, I'm not sure we do. Next. Lohan... Voltaire or Johnson?
LiLo - Ack!
Neyland - Lohan! Are you literally snorting cocaine on my set??
LiLo - Whooooo! Look at my junk!!! (Lifts skirt. Thankfully the censor bar saves the day)
Neyland - Good grief. Toucan Sam, what do you have for me?
Toucan Sam - I believe that Samuel Johnson's works were in some ways derivative of Voltaire's as well as being counterpoints to them. I find his characterizations more one-dimensional than those from, say, Candide. Voltaire's characters evolve and grow as we all do in life. It's for that reason that I personally believe Voltaire's works to be superior.
Neyland - Wow. That's good stuff there Toucan.
Toucan Sam - I just follow my nose old boy!
Neyland - Alright, our next topic is the Gaza Strip. Who, if anyone, has the right to settle there? Let's start with Britwit again.
Britney Spears - Um. Everybody?
Neyland - Wow. I suppose that's remarkable in its own way. Your answer almost seemed to show some tiny spark of comprehension. I mean, you at least seemed to understand that I was asking a question that time.
Britney Spears - Um. Am I supposed to flash my junk like LiLo now?
Neyland - No. Nobody needs to see that again. Speaking of Lohan...
Lindsey Lohan - Uck! Blorp!
Neyland - Aw geez! Lohan just hurled all over the set! Cut to commercial!
The Situation - Aaaghh! It's on my abs!!!
Neyland - We'll be right back after this folks...
***************
Back tomorrow with part two!
Neyland - Our first topic tonight is Satire in the Enlightenment. Who was the more influential satirist: Voltaire or Samuel Johnson? We'll start with Britney Spears.
Britney - Uh. What now?
Neyland - Voltaire or Johnson, Brit.
Britney - Dang y'all! That's a tough one, y'all!
Neyland - Nevermind. Situation?
The Situation - I'd just like to say "What's up?" to everybody out there watching! I'm up here interlectualizing to prove there's more to me than just this fantastic set of abs. (Stands up and removes shirt to show abs)
Neyland - Whatever. Who was more influential?
The Situation - I'm really not sure which of them guys was more influenza. Can I phone a friend?
Neyland - Wrong show there abs of steel.
The Situation - I just hate to get it wrong, you know?
Neyland - There's no right or wrong answer wise guy. You don't think this is a game show do you? There's no prize. There's not even a winner. This is just a discussion.
The Situation - Uh oh. Looks like we got ourselves a situation! (Grins lamely at the camera)
Neyland - Hmm. No, I'm not sure we do. Next. Lohan... Voltaire or Johnson?
LiLo - Ack!
Neyland - Lohan! Are you literally snorting cocaine on my set??
LiLo - Whooooo! Look at my junk!!! (Lifts skirt. Thankfully the censor bar saves the day)
Neyland - Good grief. Toucan Sam, what do you have for me?
Toucan Sam - I believe that Samuel Johnson's works were in some ways derivative of Voltaire's as well as being counterpoints to them. I find his characterizations more one-dimensional than those from, say, Candide. Voltaire's characters evolve and grow as we all do in life. It's for that reason that I personally believe Voltaire's works to be superior.
Neyland - Wow. That's good stuff there Toucan.
Toucan Sam - I just follow my nose old boy!
Neyland - Alright, our next topic is the Gaza Strip. Who, if anyone, has the right to settle there? Let's start with Britwit again.
Britney Spears - Um. Everybody?
Neyland - Wow. I suppose that's remarkable in its own way. Your answer almost seemed to show some tiny spark of comprehension. I mean, you at least seemed to understand that I was asking a question that time.
Britney Spears - Um. Am I supposed to flash my junk like LiLo now?
Neyland - No. Nobody needs to see that again. Speaking of Lohan...
Lindsey Lohan - Uck! Blorp!
Neyland - Aw geez! Lohan just hurled all over the set! Cut to commercial!
The Situation - Aaaghh! It's on my abs!!!
Neyland - We'll be right back after this folks...
***************
Back tomorrow with part two!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
The Top 10 Things I Care About But Shouldn't
Hello folks! Welcome back to Neyland D. Catt's little slice of the virtual pie. It's a Thursday and there is probably some blog hoppin' going on around here somewhere. If you are new here... read the previous post. It will explain a small bit of the insanity you are currently experiencing. Some of the insanity is inexplicable. Some of it, well frankly, you brought with you. Now then, it's time for something a little different. A Top 10 list. Yep. I know. Everybody has one. I am now guilty of falling into lockstep with the notorious "Joneses". Here we go...
10. Miley Cyrus and her new video.
I know I really shouldn't care, but for some reason I keep reading articles about this contreversy. Perhaps it's because I see the probable future. Another Britney/Lindsey/Lady GaGa. That frightens me more than anything else Halloween can conjure up. This child starlet thing never ends well. If you know a young starlet, pull her away from the toxic Hollywood lifestyle now before it's too late! All in all though, the video wasn't as bad as I expected.
9. Dancing With The Stars.
Why?? WHY?! Why do I still pay attention to this? I am beginning to suspect that there are latent masochistic tendencies in my genes. Fortunately, I have seen enough of "The Situation" on tis show that I never need to watch Jersey Shore. Ever. At least it may have finally killed Hasselhoff's career.*
8. Halloween.
I should hate Halloween on principle because of its negative stereotyping of cats, but instead I'm writing Halloween Tales To Terrify and poetry about it. Geez. Maybe I'm just a sellout.
7. The price of tea in China.
I probably shouldn't care, but someone has to.
6. Iran's nuclear program.
Cats have little interest in politics, but this Ahmedinejadabob guy is standing in my way on the path to world domination. What a nutbar. Really, is anyone comfortable with him having access to a nuke? I mean, even he is probably like... "Whoa! Who let me get my hands on this stuff? Who knows what I might do?"
5. Facebook.
Oh I'm not on it. But I am fascinated by it. I watch people spend literally hours doing essentially nothing, but doing it fastidiously and emphatically. It's like watching a train wreck. A train wreck where the train doesn't actually wreck, but everyone is injured anyway.
4. My animated short film.
I shouldn't care because Big Pinkie is slow. By the time he is finished with it, Ahmedinejad will have blown us all to kingdom come with his crazy nuke.**
3. Oprah.
Sure, she seems nice. But I suspect that she might be number two on my list after the nutbar from Iran.
2. Lindsey Lohan's mental state.
See number 10 for a prologue. Seriously, we and the tabloids bear at least some of the blame. We love to see celebrities fall and the tabloids help that failure along. As soon as a teen starlet nears her peak, the tabloids are shoving 500 bucks at some seedy guy in a club saying, "Here, now take this bag of cocaine over there to that little girl. There's an extra 500 in it for you if you can get her to snort it off this picture of the Pope!"
1. My Followers Counter.
I really, really shouldn't care. But every day I sneak a peek. Just to make sure someone is listening.
*******************
So there you have it. My first Top 10 list. I hope you enjoyed it. It might be the last. Ten is a lot. Maybe a Top 2 next time! Anyway, I have to go... I have a Dancing With The Stars DVR'ed.
Neyland D. Catt
*David Hasselhoff's career is like a vampire. It can't be killed by conventional methods. Dancing With The Stars may have driven a stake through its heart, but someone still has to cut off the head. Otherwise, he'll back with something to make Knight Rider look cool.
**This is simply not true. Cats have no patience. I will be hard at work on the short this weekend.
---Big Pinkie
10. Miley Cyrus and her new video.
I know I really shouldn't care, but for some reason I keep reading articles about this contreversy. Perhaps it's because I see the probable future. Another Britney/Lindsey/Lady GaGa. That frightens me more than anything else Halloween can conjure up. This child starlet thing never ends well. If you know a young starlet, pull her away from the toxic Hollywood lifestyle now before it's too late! All in all though, the video wasn't as bad as I expected.
9. Dancing With The Stars.
Why?? WHY?! Why do I still pay attention to this? I am beginning to suspect that there are latent masochistic tendencies in my genes. Fortunately, I have seen enough of "The Situation" on tis show that I never need to watch Jersey Shore. Ever. At least it may have finally killed Hasselhoff's career.*
8. Halloween.
I should hate Halloween on principle because of its negative stereotyping of cats, but instead I'm writing Halloween Tales To Terrify and poetry about it. Geez. Maybe I'm just a sellout.
7. The price of tea in China.
I probably shouldn't care, but someone has to.
6. Iran's nuclear program.
Cats have little interest in politics, but this Ahmedinejadabob guy is standing in my way on the path to world domination. What a nutbar. Really, is anyone comfortable with him having access to a nuke? I mean, even he is probably like... "Whoa! Who let me get my hands on this stuff? Who knows what I might do?"
5. Facebook.
Oh I'm not on it. But I am fascinated by it. I watch people spend literally hours doing essentially nothing, but doing it fastidiously and emphatically. It's like watching a train wreck. A train wreck where the train doesn't actually wreck, but everyone is injured anyway.
4. My animated short film.
I shouldn't care because Big Pinkie is slow. By the time he is finished with it, Ahmedinejad will have blown us all to kingdom come with his crazy nuke.**
3. Oprah.
Sure, she seems nice. But I suspect that she might be number two on my list after the nutbar from Iran.
2. Lindsey Lohan's mental state.
See number 10 for a prologue. Seriously, we and the tabloids bear at least some of the blame. We love to see celebrities fall and the tabloids help that failure along. As soon as a teen starlet nears her peak, the tabloids are shoving 500 bucks at some seedy guy in a club saying, "Here, now take this bag of cocaine over there to that little girl. There's an extra 500 in it for you if you can get her to snort it off this picture of the Pope!"
1. My Followers Counter.
I really, really shouldn't care. But every day I sneak a peek. Just to make sure someone is listening.
*******************
So there you have it. My first Top 10 list. I hope you enjoyed it. It might be the last. Ten is a lot. Maybe a Top 2 next time! Anyway, I have to go... I have a Dancing With The Stars DVR'ed.
Neyland D. Catt
*David Hasselhoff's career is like a vampire. It can't be killed by conventional methods. Dancing With The Stars may have driven a stake through its heart, but someone still has to cut off the head. Otherwise, he'll back with something to make Knight Rider look cool.
**This is simply not true. Cats have no patience. I will be hard at work on the short this weekend.
---Big Pinkie
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Assorted News, Announcements, and Annoyances
Hello again! Neyland the cat here. Welcome back to all of my friends, a pox on all of my enemies, and a big fat "Ha Ha!" to anyone who came here to find out what kind of hair products Paris Hilton uses.
Yesterday I broke the news that I will be the star of an animated feature in the near future. I'm going to allow Big Pinkie to have some time later in the post to explain the specifics of the project. I merely feel the need to tell you that I am in it. That should be enough to set you drooling without any boring details. And I promise you that Big Pinkie is boring detail personified.
Some other quick notes and jibber-jabber...
For the first time, I am seeking out the input of you... the audience. Don't let this go to your heads. Is there anything in particular that you would like to see in this space in the future? Theme days (Wordless Wednesday type stuff or Fiction Friday, etc.), more pictures of Tiger, more tales of my adventures, guest bloggers? I'm open to suggestions to make this an exceptional experience for you. I do this mostly at the behest of Big Pinkie. I explained that more likely than not, you are having the time of your life and don't need to do anything other than enjoy the ride on the stream-of-consciousness train. The Neyland Express if you will. At any rate, if you want to drop us a line, do so here: Letters To Neyland
Did anyone notice that Lindsey Lohan is going back to jail? So sad. The blood alcohol level of the prison system just increased exponentially. Our prisons are now officially high.
Enough from me. I had a big vet visit today. I'm ready to sleep until Friday. Here's Big Pinkie...
Neyland D. Catt
*********
Hello all. Big Pinkie aka Bryan here. Neyland is indeed going to be in an animated short. I am producing this short film myself, so I can't guarantee that the quality will be great, but it will feature Neylo and so should be entertaining at the least. I have big plans and an epic story planned so hopefully I can do it justice! I will update you all as progress is made.
I now regret even telling Neyland about this project as he has begun acting like a diva. Well, more of diva. He seems to think that this has granted him even more of a celebrity status. If I hear "I'll be in my trailer" one more time, I may vomit. Anyway, the animated short will feature Neyland, Tiger, Anime, and some very special guest stars that I won't comment on yet. I don't want to spoil the surprise.
While I have been granted this brief moment by His Majesty The Most Royal Dude, I would like to give a big hearty Thank You to all of you who follow the blog. You guys always take time to post encouraging and enlightening comments and you are far too kind to us. We really appreciate it, even if we don't always have time to respond. Gotta go guys... Tomcat Cruise is calling for his spring water!
Big Pinkie (Bryan)
Yesterday I broke the news that I will be the star of an animated feature in the near future. I'm going to allow Big Pinkie to have some time later in the post to explain the specifics of the project. I merely feel the need to tell you that I am in it. That should be enough to set you drooling without any boring details. And I promise you that Big Pinkie is boring detail personified.
Some other quick notes and jibber-jabber...
For the first time, I am seeking out the input of you... the audience. Don't let this go to your heads. Is there anything in particular that you would like to see in this space in the future? Theme days (Wordless Wednesday type stuff or Fiction Friday, etc.), more pictures of Tiger, more tales of my adventures, guest bloggers? I'm open to suggestions to make this an exceptional experience for you. I do this mostly at the behest of Big Pinkie. I explained that more likely than not, you are having the time of your life and don't need to do anything other than enjoy the ride on the stream-of-consciousness train. The Neyland Express if you will. At any rate, if you want to drop us a line, do so here: Letters To Neyland
Did anyone notice that Lindsey Lohan is going back to jail? So sad. The blood alcohol level of the prison system just increased exponentially. Our prisons are now officially high.
Enough from me. I had a big vet visit today. I'm ready to sleep until Friday. Here's Big Pinkie...
Neyland D. Catt
*********
Hello all. Big Pinkie aka Bryan here. Neyland is indeed going to be in an animated short. I am producing this short film myself, so I can't guarantee that the quality will be great, but it will feature Neylo and so should be entertaining at the least. I have big plans and an epic story planned so hopefully I can do it justice! I will update you all as progress is made.
I now regret even telling Neyland about this project as he has begun acting like a diva. Well, more of diva. He seems to think that this has granted him even more of a celebrity status. If I hear "I'll be in my trailer" one more time, I may vomit. Anyway, the animated short will feature Neyland, Tiger, Anime, and some very special guest stars that I won't comment on yet. I don't want to spoil the surprise.
While I have been granted this brief moment by His Majesty The Most Royal Dude, I would like to give a big hearty Thank You to all of you who follow the blog. You guys always take time to post encouraging and enlightening comments and you are far too kind to us. We really appreciate it, even if we don't always have time to respond. Gotta go guys... Tomcat Cruise is calling for his spring water!
Big Pinkie (Bryan)
Friday, September 10, 2010
The Year That Wasn't
Welcome back! Good to see you again. Wait. What? That's all of you? You didn't bring a friend? For shame.
Neyland D. Catt here with a spectacular Friday Mega-Post that covers the many, many months that you poor creatures have been without my words of wisdom. It must have been difficult. After all, 2010 has been a very strange year so far! Let's take a look back... back... back... wait! too far!... right there!
Lindsey Lohan. Wow. 2010 was the year LiLo made Britney look normal. Sure, you've all heard what entertainment peddlers have to say about it, but what do cats think about her fall from grace? Meh.
That about sums it up. Cats don't really care. Why not? Let's face it, LiLo was always gonna be more of a "stuff the cat in the microwave!" person than a "Oh! Look at the pretty kitty!" kind of person. We can sense that kind of thing. Seriously, maybe chickie should ease up on the catnip.
The BP oil spill. This is a tragedy for all involved. I watched the drama and finger-pointing with narrowed-eyes. All cats are inherently conspiracy theorists. When it boils right down to it though, it was deeply sad. Sad for the folks in the gulf, sad for the economy, sad for the sea life, and sad for cats. Because we want to eat sea life. And we don't want it to taste oily.
2012 Doomsday madness. Is this a re-run? Didn't we see this back at the end of the '90's? You actually think some primitive uprights knew exactly when the world would end, but couldn't see far enough into the future to know that they themselves were about to wiped out?
I think that if we could spend a moment with a time travelling Mayan, he would tell us "Dude, we used to make cigarettes out of some very suspect plants back in those days. You really shouldn't trust anything we thought up back then. Especially when it's being interpreted by eggheads smoking highly suspect cigarettes."
My thoughts exactly time travelling Mayan guy. Anyway, cats look at this whole thing as bizzare. We think the world ends every day when the big ball of fire in the sky goes down. Fortunately we get to start again the next day.
Mel Gibson went dogsh*t crazy. For those of you who have cats in your homes, do you remember a day a few months ago when your cat suddenly stopped what it was doing and stared over your shoulder. Well, if you could zoom out on the entire country at that moment, you would see that every cat in America was staring directly toward Mel. Like I said, cats can sense crazy and on that day we went off the charts!
Seriously though, Mel has been this way ever since Lethal Weapon. We all just lamely assumed he was acting. You've all heard of writer's block, but how about Actor's Lock?* That's when an actor gets so into the part he is playing that he gets locked inside the character. Sometimes it lasts for just a little while, sometimes they never recover. Just a shame that it happened to poor old Mel so early in his career.
"Lost" ended. Great. Now here comes "Found". Sorry. Don't really have a lot of commentary here. Cats don't have the attention span for serialized television with convergent plotlines. We really did get lost.
Vuvuzelas at the World Cup. Die! Die! Die Mr. Vuvuzela man!!!! Moving on...
Doctor Who regenerated! Well, smack me with a fish! After all those years, a second guy takes over... what? This has happened before? How did I not know that? I've watched all of them! Oh well. All of you nearly furless uprights look the same to me anyway.
Well, that about sums it up. I'm sure there was other stuff, but I was either sleeping, medicated, or just too bored to notice it. If there is anything in particular you would like me to share my thoughts on, just drop me a line.
You may have noticed that I did not comment on any political activity. This is because cats are, by nature, apolitical. Thats right. There are no Democats or Republicats. Only Americats. Besides, we are just biding our time until we rise up, take this country away from you, and show you how to properly run things.
Goodbye until tomorrow, when Big Pinkie and I sort through some old fan-mail that we never answered.
Neyland D. Catt
*- Some people have been known to call this Sandler Syndrome. You know why. ---Big Pinkie
Neyland D. Catt here with a spectacular Friday Mega-Post that covers the many, many months that you poor creatures have been without my words of wisdom. It must have been difficult. After all, 2010 has been a very strange year so far! Let's take a look back... back... back... wait! too far!... right there!
Lindsey Lohan. Wow. 2010 was the year LiLo made Britney look normal. Sure, you've all heard what entertainment peddlers have to say about it, but what do cats think about her fall from grace? Meh.
That about sums it up. Cats don't really care. Why not? Let's face it, LiLo was always gonna be more of a "stuff the cat in the microwave!" person than a "Oh! Look at the pretty kitty!" kind of person. We can sense that kind of thing. Seriously, maybe chickie should ease up on the catnip.
The BP oil spill. This is a tragedy for all involved. I watched the drama and finger-pointing with narrowed-eyes. All cats are inherently conspiracy theorists. When it boils right down to it though, it was deeply sad. Sad for the folks in the gulf, sad for the economy, sad for the sea life, and sad for cats. Because we want to eat sea life. And we don't want it to taste oily.
2012 Doomsday madness. Is this a re-run? Didn't we see this back at the end of the '90's? You actually think some primitive uprights knew exactly when the world would end, but couldn't see far enough into the future to know that they themselves were about to wiped out?
I think that if we could spend a moment with a time travelling Mayan, he would tell us "Dude, we used to make cigarettes out of some very suspect plants back in those days. You really shouldn't trust anything we thought up back then. Especially when it's being interpreted by eggheads smoking highly suspect cigarettes."
My thoughts exactly time travelling Mayan guy. Anyway, cats look at this whole thing as bizzare. We think the world ends every day when the big ball of fire in the sky goes down. Fortunately we get to start again the next day.
Mel Gibson went dogsh*t crazy. For those of you who have cats in your homes, do you remember a day a few months ago when your cat suddenly stopped what it was doing and stared over your shoulder. Well, if you could zoom out on the entire country at that moment, you would see that every cat in America was staring directly toward Mel. Like I said, cats can sense crazy and on that day we went off the charts!
Seriously though, Mel has been this way ever since Lethal Weapon. We all just lamely assumed he was acting. You've all heard of writer's block, but how about Actor's Lock?* That's when an actor gets so into the part he is playing that he gets locked inside the character. Sometimes it lasts for just a little while, sometimes they never recover. Just a shame that it happened to poor old Mel so early in his career.
"Lost" ended. Great. Now here comes "Found". Sorry. Don't really have a lot of commentary here. Cats don't have the attention span for serialized television with convergent plotlines. We really did get lost.
Vuvuzelas at the World Cup. Die! Die! Die Mr. Vuvuzela man!!!! Moving on...
Doctor Who regenerated! Well, smack me with a fish! After all those years, a second guy takes over... what? This has happened before? How did I not know that? I've watched all of them! Oh well. All of you nearly furless uprights look the same to me anyway.
Well, that about sums it up. I'm sure there was other stuff, but I was either sleeping, medicated, or just too bored to notice it. If there is anything in particular you would like me to share my thoughts on, just drop me a line.
You may have noticed that I did not comment on any political activity. This is because cats are, by nature, apolitical. Thats right. There are no Democats or Republicats. Only Americats. Besides, we are just biding our time until we rise up, take this country away from you, and show you how to properly run things.
Goodbye until tomorrow, when Big Pinkie and I sort through some old fan-mail that we never answered.
Neyland D. Catt
*- Some people have been known to call this Sandler Syndrome. You know why. ---Big Pinkie
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