Wintry Wondrous Land - Another Holiday Poem by Neyland D. Catt

A festive Saturday to you all!  Neyland D. Catt here to hand you all a piping hot cup of cheer.  I wouldn't drive or operate any heavy machinery after having that cup.*  Just a helpful hint.  Anyhoo... we're all in a rather chipper and christmassy kind of mood here.  I've had the opportunity to keep posting for a bit now and Big Pinkie is gleefully counting down the days.  Oh no.  Not for Christmas.  For Monday.  He will probably be getting his stint out and he's worse than a kid on Christmas Eve.**  So, that brings us to this post.  It's another holiday poem by yours truly!  Sit back have a candy cane on me...



              Wintry Wondrous Land
                               by
                    Neyland D. Catt

Twas a bright and chill December day
and all the cats were hard at their play.
Fat Tiger bounding through the snow
quite fast at first, then quite slow.
Anime laughs and shouts with glee
for snow is blanketing all we can see.
Gracie is snuggled down warm in her bed
a bright Santa Hat perched on her head.
Shifty Luna is watching from the window on high
I keep a close watch from the corner of my eye.
I grin a grin most cats wouldn't understand
this is most truly a Wintry Wondrous Land.

Big Pinkie is tangled in Christmassy wrapping
he tries, he fails, to wrap before scrapping.
At last he cries out, a joyous victory
as he lifts up his gift, wrapped shoddily.
The Lady just smiles a soft smile, unbidden
for only she knows where her gifts have been hidden.
Outside tiny field mice flee, full of fear
as Anime chases, Tiger brings up the rear.
They chase over hills covered over with snow
and there in the drifts, the mice have nowhere to go.
I smile to myself as the mice make their last stand
this is most truly a Wintry Wondrous Land.

Now night time is drifting to cover our house
fat Tiger is napping, tummy full of field mouse.
Gracie awakes, she's missed all the fun
Only in her dreams did she chase and run.
Luna curls up high atop the dinner table
She'd have chased mice if she had been able.
Pinkie and The Lady drink warm cups of cheer
Fondly enjoying this rare time of year.
I settle in to write on my blog
Occasionally distracted by the burning yule log.
This chill, snowy day has gone exactly as planned
this is most truly a Wintry Wondrous Land.

**********************

Thanks for reading!  Come back tomorrow for Neyland D. Catt's Holiday Gift Guide!

---Neylo


*Well, really.  What did you think was in a cup of cheer, after all?  Cocoa?

**It's true.  If Santa delivered stint removals, I'd be gazing hopefully at the night sky - hoping to see his eight tiny reindeer and the fat jolly old elf in scrubs!

Please allow me to re-introduce myself...

Hello to familiar faces, freshly acquired friends, and those just stopping by to see what the hubbub is all about.  It has been suggested that I should re-introduce myself, as there are a lot of new folks buzzing around the place.  It's quite possible that it might be a little confusing for newcomers who stumble into the middle of a rant about Garfield or the Biggest Loser.  So here goes:

I am Neyland D. Catt.  Yes.  A cat.  A feline.  There are tons of cats out there with blogs and many of them have been at this for lots longer than I have.  There is a community of sorts.  On most of these blogs you will find humorous pictures of cats, heartwarming stories, and useful tips.  They are wonderful.  Sadly, you will find almost none of that here.

Despite my best efforts, it would appear that we have a few semi-regular features here on the blog.  We have a fan letter column, inexplicably titled Letters From The Edge.  Cheerz and Jeerz will be returning soon as will another Urban Legends post.  Basically, I live in a household with two humans called Big Pinkie and the Lady, three other cats called Tiger, Anime, and Gracie, and I share stories about myself and the rest of the gang as well as my views on entertainment, pop culture, world events, and everything else under the sun.

Many visitors to the blog tell me that I'm funny.  This is quite odd, as I never intend to be humorous.  That's just the way my mind works.  Big Pinkie, on the other hand, seems to fancy himself quite the jokester.  He sometimes rips off Terry Pratchett by way of the little asterix gimmick.*

*This would be the little asterix gimmick he is referring to.  If you know of Terry Pratchett, I'm sure you will agree that he does it better.**

**If you know Terry Pratchett personally... please don't tell him.  We are allergic to lawyers.


Yeah.  That was annoying right?  Anyway.  I am a cat blogger who is here to entertain you.  I will use all that I have at my disposal to make that happen.  If you're not sure if this blog is for you, then take a few minutes to look back at some of our older posts.  We have had some doozies.  I have told terrifying halloween tales, interviewed a celebrity (which has turned into an all out war with Lady Gaga), written poetry, given insight into the Biggest Loser and Dancing With the Stars, and even occasionally posted a cute picture of a cat.

I think you will find something here to entertain you.  Please join us.  We are not a cult.  However, your adoration and worship is welcome.


Neyland D. Catt

A slightly sidewise view.  Get used to that.

Introducing...Tiger the Fatty!

Well I decided to post again tonight to honor my promise of continuing the introductions of the rest of the household. You've already seen Anime Jingle Socks and I've given a bit of info about her, so we will continue on with: Tiger the Fatty. Tiger is approximately three hundred pounds of feline. That's an approximation mind you, I have no idea how much he actually weighs. I can only surmise that upon receiving his human-given nickname, Tiger took it to heart and is attempting to reach the size of an actual jungle tiger. He certainly believes himself to be a fierce hunter. Every so often, I have to put him in his place, which is face-down with a bloody nose. I am a badass. Seriously.

Tiger and I have had many adventures over the years. I will regale you with some of those grand tales at a later date. I assure you, they will blow your feeble little minds. Don't believe me? Have you ever fought off a horde of three headed snake-rats? We have. BAM! How you like me now? Sorry. Sometimes I get a bit boisterous when I think about how ninja we are. So, anyway, here's a picture of me and the fatty for you to feast your eyes upon.



He's the fat one. I'm pretty sure that I'd been asleep for about 3 days when that picture was taken.


So that's Tiger in a nutshell. Ha. Like his big carcass would ever fit in one.

Next week I plan to begin posting transcripts from my new talk show. Yeah. I'm a badass ninja celebrity talk show host.

Later all,

Neyland D. Cat