Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Would You Believe Me If I Told You I Was Abducted By Aliens?

Well?  Would you?  If the answer is yes, then I totally was.  Big green, hairless aliens with arms where their legs should be and legs where their arms should be.  If you wouldn't believe me about the aliens, then I've been missing all this time because I was Charlie Sheen's Personal Assistant.*  So... how's it going?  Um... the spouse and kids all okay?  Er... well... this is just awkward.  Here's the deal.  I'm a cat.  We are fickle creatures.  Do I really need a reason other than my felinity to explain a brief absence from the interwebs?**

I've had other things to do man!  Bigger fish to fry!  Mmmm... fish fry.  Sorry, I digress.  There have been legions of fans beating on the front door every day wanting to know what happened to ole Neyland D. Catt.***  I have a life too people!  I have big dreams and not enough time!  But becaue you all demanded it...  I am back.****  Big Pinkie too, and apparently he brought the asterix thingies with him.  Anyway, I have a lot to tell you all in coming days.  New cats here at the Homestead for Wayward Strays, tons of titillating tales, updates on what's been going on, and a Baby Pinky!  Stay tuned.  You'll be glad you did.  Now, read on, because Big Pinky has some words.

                                                                      ---Neyland D. Catt


*He really did apply.  I have to think he was in the top 5 and probably as qualified as anyone.
**Brief absence you say?  It was at least a year.  Cats have no concept of time.  They measure it in naps.
***It was only one guy.  The mailman.
****You all demanded it.  And we thank you.  Both of you.


So.  It's been a while.  I can't begin to tell you all that has happened since last you read a new post here.  I won't even try.  I will let Neyland do the talking for me, in a fictitious, feline, and hopefully amusing way.  If you really want to know the major reason for the lapse in posting, I may share someday, but not today.  Today is about the return of an old friend.  Mine, and hopefully yours.  There really are a lot of words ready to hit the screen.  Most of them will be Neylo's.  Mine will be after the asterixes.


                                                                       --Bryan aka Big Pinkie

2 comments:

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  2. MOL, Charlie Sheen's personal assistant. i likes it.

    ReplyDelete