Welcome back my festive friends! Neyland D. Catt back up in your holiday grills! I know that everyone is preparing for the jolly fat man (no, not John Goodman) so I decided I would give everyone a hand in the final stretch run. I have compiled a compelling list of holiday gifts that you should purchase for your loved ones immediately. Sadly, the Neyland D. Catt cologne gift set was not ready in time for the holidays. Without further ado, because I'm sick of ado, here it is...
1. Wintersmith - by Terry Pratchett
This is nothing short of a classic. Terry Pratchett is a master of combining
sharp witted humor with compelling characters and an engrossing plot.
There is simply no other author that I would whole-heartedly recommend
to any reader. The man is funny. I mean devastatingly funny. But, he also
makes you think a little bit and care about the characters. He achieves all
of this without being a cat. Go figure. He does, however, have a cat in this
story. Not prominently, but still, it makes a great tale even better!
That's right. A Christmas Monkey. Most people
aren't aware that this product is available. What
child wouldn't want to unwrap their very own
screeching, carousing, poop-flinging Christmas
Monkey? Just be sure to leave air-holes in the box
when you wrap it. And keep a baseball bat handy
in case he gets a little crazy.
Ultimate Werewolf: Ultimate Edition
This is a fantastic party game that tests your ability to bluff
your friends and family. A good poker face is invaluable.
It's not Christmassy, but it IS loads of fun...
The concept is simple: You are a group of villagers who are
plagued by werewolves. The problem: some of you are the
werewolves. The villagers must deduce who they are before it's too late! Pick this up for anyone who likes games from
Diceheadgames.com. I promise you will love it. And I'm not the werewolf.
Don't act like you don't want one. I know you ARE that tacky. I wanted to order one last week, but Big Pinkie vetoed it. He claimed that just being near that much Mountain Dew would give him more kidney stones. Two drawbacks to this truly great work of art: It's hard to get lights on it and people might drink your tree.
5. A cat elf costume.
Ha. Please don't actually buy this one. Trust me. It's never as cute as you think it's going to be. You will regret it as your cat shows it's displeasure in a variety of horrifying ways.
Okay. That's enough product placement for one post. Come back tomorrow for my interview with Frosty the Snowman. You won't want to miss it! I will NOT be wearing a cute cat elf costume. But I might be joined by my very own Christmas Monkey.