Hello kids, Inmate # CTKTVYX6CMCJ here. AKA Neyland D. Cat. That's right, today I consider myself the inmate of a prison camp. For those of you who may be new to my little blog, I am a cat. I am forced to live out my days here in internment with 3 other cats and two humans who serve as our wardens. I refer to the humans as Big Pinkie (the moronic male) and Lady Pinkie or simply The Lady. My housemates are Tiger (the fatty), Gracie (the cowardly runt), and Anime Jingle Socks (the absurdly named annoyance). Those of you who have been reading for a bit now my wonder why I am referring to the pinkies as wardens and not my personal servants at the cat ranch. True, that is how I described things until recently. However, Big Pinkie has begun a crackdown on our activities as of late and I have been forced to re-evaluate the situation. We are prisoners. I can only assume we are political prisoners. Big Pinkie himself is silent on the matter of WHY we are incarcerated.
Enough of that talk for now. It makes me angry. Then sleepy. Then hungry. Then back to sleepy. Anyway, some of the more clever readers out there (this is sarcasm for those of you who can't recognize it) have begun to ask really important questions. Like this one: "You are a cat. How do you type on the keyboard?"
Seriously. Dude. I use my longest claw from each paw and then hunt-and-peck. Sure, my word per minute count is not the greatest in the world, but it gets the job done. How do you type? I can only imagine you are illiterate and require outside assistance. I drew this conclusion from the vast stupidity of your inane question. Oh, and thanks for reading!
Look, people, lots of cats have gotten involved in the online world. Hell, we practically invented it. That's a story for another time, tough. Why, just look around and you'll find blogs and websites galore by all types of felines, kitties, cats, kittens, and pussies (like Perez Hilton). We are very much an online presence. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Ta for now,
Neyland D. Cat
P.S. I will post again this evening (something that isn't a Technorati verification post ;)