Letters from the edge #2

Back again on a lovely Wednesday morning. Still a little exhausted from the whole Lady GaGa thing. However, Big Pinkie and I have vowed that we will catch up on all the things that we let get behind. So that brings to another round of fan letters that we can answer and then throw in the fire... I mean archive lovingly.

Letter 1

Dear Neyland,

Why can't you be like other cat bloggers? None of the others are so pompous, arrogant, and self-aggrandizing. In fact, they all seem to be wonderful people. You, on the other hand, seem to think the world cares what you think about pop culture, current events, etc. Stop trying to be clever and show us some cute pictures of frolicking cats!

Love,
Frustrated In Albany


"Frustrated In Albany"? That's your name?? I would truly like to meet your parents. I think they might be the funniest or most psychotic people on earth. As to your comments... there are other cat blogs?? I'm not special and unique?? Seriously though, I happen to feel that there is plenty of room on the interwebanets for all types of feline blogs. That includes mine. Especially mine. Where do you get that I'm self-aggrandizing anyway?


Letter 2

Dear Mr. Smarty Pants,

I guess you think you are pretty funny. Let me tell you something pally-boy... I don't think you are funny at all! Your little "interview", if it can be called that, was not humorous in the least. Your henchman, Big Pinkie, has been able to keep my lawyers at bay so far but we will find you eventually. You obviously edited my responses to paint me in a negative light and I don't think even your readers will fall for it. As though I am some expletive slinging shrew that could be so easily dismissed! The very *bleep*ing thought is absurd! Watch your back kitty cat!

L. Gaga


Wow. I actually thought we did a pretty good job of cleaning up the interview. After all, we cut out the part where you called me a *bleep*ing *bleep*er with *bleep* on his *bleep*! I don't even know what that means. Or if it is in the realm of anatomical possibility. I apologize profusely and beg for mercy at the feet of your lawyers. Please don't sue us into oblivion! If it helps, I think your hair is pretty sometimes.

Letter 3

Dear Neyland,

I am sending you this e-mail from a neighbor's computer. I am forced to do this because you won't get off of mine. I realize that you write for a blog and all, but I would sometimes like to use the computer that I bought for myself. Please try to be considerate of others in the household.

Big Pinkie

P.S. Tiger says you smacked him in the face and called him tubby. Please don't do that again.


Well "Pinkie", if that is your real name, I have a demanding public that clamors for my attention. I need the computer. You just use it to watch funny youtube videos. Besides, it's very warm when I need a nap. By the way, Lady CaCa wants to talk to you. Says its important.


That's all for today kids. I've got a busy afternoon ahead of me that probably includes signing autographs and fighting trolls. A cat's work is never done.


Neyland D. Catt