Glad you could drop by. I've got a treat for you today and if you're anything like me, you love treats. Today, I am going to break down the upcoming Fall Television schedule for you. I care. That's why I can't let you waste any of your valuable time watching inane garbage on TV, when you could be filling your head with tasty television that is also nourishing! So, take notes, this is important. I won't bore you by going over returning shows. You should know by now which of those are worth watching. This is about the newbies...
$#*! My Dad Says
A somewhat weak premise. This show came about because of a Twitter feed of the same name. The Twitter feed was literally the aforementioned $#*! said by the creator's dad. That worked. It was funny. On TV, it's a little thin. However, William Shatner is the dad. You cannot count Shatner out. Ever. Plus, I'm rooting for the show because I love the fact that it came from a Twitter feed. Watch the first episode. If you don't laugh, you never will, because the show is not exactly going to change and evolve over time.
It's got Magnum freakin' P.I. in it! Seriously. I don't need to say anything else. Just watch it.
This one is on HBO, so you'll need to put the kittens to bed before viewing. If you like your drama Soprano flavored, then this is for you. Not my kind of thing, I don't need to watch really flawed people claw their way through life to satisfy their ambitions. I can watch politics for that. It does have Steve Buscemi in it, though. Has Buscemi ever been in anything really bad?
Yeah, yeah. Heard this one before. Super tough cop drama. Police procedural. The problem with this kind of show is that the twenty other good police dramas that have come out over the years... ARE STILL ON THE AIR! There's no room at the inn Detroit 1-8-7. Sorry.
Oh. Wait. This one's different because they're U.S. Marshalls. How obsessed are we with this stuff? Seriously. How much authoritarian television can we take?
Another cop show. I'm losing it. Wait. What? Boomer from Battlestar Galactica is in it? Hmmm... Seriously, this one should be a little lighter in tone and has an interesting cast. Grace Park is now making a career of playing formerly male parts in re-makes. She will be playing me in twenty years when someone re-imagines this blog as a super-slick TV series. Give this one a try.
I'm intrigued by this one. Also, slightly repulsed. I like the concept, slightly sleazy lawyers in Las Vegas. Jerry O'Connell works in the role. It's Jim Belushi I don't know about. There was time I really liked Jim Belushi. Then "According To Jim" lumbered across my TV screen for what seemed like a hundred years, looking like a live-action Family Guy. I can't do it. Watch it only if there's nothing else on. It will rot your brain.
Mysterious stuff happens and you never get the answers you are looking for. No, not the story of a trip to the DMV. That's the plot of Los... I mean Flash Forw... I mean the Event. Cats don't do serialized stories that take years to unfold. Lost did well because it was unique. Flash Forward didn't last past its first season. This one might not make it to the halfway point. Don't bother. At best it will only get your hopes up... then dash them.
Whooo! Yeah!!! Finally a story for us! Ashow about some badass biker cats that go around showing America how cool felines really are! What? It's not about cats? What? Cheerleaders?
Cheerleaders. No. Thank. You.
Watch it. Maggie Q will make you forget all about the other twenty versions of the Le Femme Nikita story. Trust me. You want to see this one. It might even help to wash away the painful memories of watching the Hellcats premiere.
Probably the most creative new concept this season. This one has its roots way back into the year 2000, when a film crew documented nine members of a high school's graduating class. Now, the same crew is back with them to see how life has changed them. Great idea! Talk about long term planning! These guys have waited ten years for a pay-off on their idea. Now, they can mine it over and over if it's successful. Think about it. You check up on the same crew in 2015, then again in 2020, etc. This is worth a look if you need a break from bleak, gritty cop shows and want to escape for some fluffy reality TV.
Law And Order: Los Angeles
Bleak, gritty cop show.
No Ordinary Family
Michael Chiklis gives the Fantastic Four one more try... but this time HE'S the star! Seriously. This show tries to mix too many ingredients into one package. It's half police procedural, half family drama, and half super-hero story. That's at least one half too many. Avoid unless you are related to Michael Chiklis.
Another grim, gritty law-related show. And its got Jimmy Smits. Go away Jimmy. Just go away.
This is one of those shows that has no middle ground. It will either skyrocket to glory or people will riot and burn down the studio that produced it. I'm betting it will skyrocket to glory. Why? Two Reasons. 1. It will provide some laughs and we need that after all of the grim, gritty law-related shows.
2. India + Office-style humor = hilarity
The Walking Dead
I am as over Zombies as I can possibly be. It's a dead horse that keeps getting beaten, then rises up and tries to eat our brains. This show should be a hit, but I don't think it will be. Zombies will not hold the public's attention on a weekly basis. On the upside, maybe it will be the final straw that causes America to finally shoot the dead horse in the head.
So there you have it. There are probably some that I have missed. If you want my thoughts on one that I didn't mention, drop me a line. Bottom line, there is a lot of grim stuff out there this season. Guess it is supposed to reflect the mood of the nation, but I think we use some lighter fare. Go for the laughs. My must-see show of the group: Nikita. I can only dream that they cross-over with Hawaii Five-0. Maggie Q and Grace Park on the same show? Wow.
Bye for now kittens, come back tomorrow and i will formally introduce you to Gracie.
Neyland D. Catt