Must See TV?

Hello friends!

Glad you could drop by.  I've got a treat for you today and if you're anything like me, you love treats.  Today, I am going to break down the upcoming Fall Television schedule for you.  I care.  That's why I can't let you waste any of your valuable time watching inane garbage on TV, when you could be filling your head with tasty television that is also nourishing!  So, take notes, this is important.  I won't bore you by going over returning shows.  You should know by now which of those are worth watching.  This is about the newbies...

$#*! My Dad Says
A somewhat weak premise.  This show came about because of a Twitter feed of the same name.  The Twitter feed was literally the aforementioned $#*! said by the creator's dad.  That worked.  It was funny.  On TV, it's a little thin.  However, William Shatner is the dad.  You cannot count Shatner out.  Ever.  Plus, I'm rooting for the show because I love the fact that it came from a Twitter feed.  Watch the first episode.  If you don't laugh, you never will, because the show is not exactly going to change and evolve over time.

Blue Bloods
It's got Magnum freakin' P.I. in it!  Seriously.  I don't need to say anything else.  Just watch it.

Boardwalk Empire
This one is on HBO, so you'll need to put the kittens to bed before viewing.  If you like your drama Soprano flavored, then this is for you.  Not my kind of thing, I don't need to watch really flawed people claw their way through life to satisfy their ambitions.  I can watch politics for that.  It does have Steve Buscemi in it, though.  Has Buscemi ever been in anything really bad?

Detroit 1-8-7
Yeah, yeah.  Heard this one before.  Super tough cop drama.  Police procedural.  The problem with this kind of show is that the twenty other good police dramas that have come out over the years... ARE STILL ON THE AIR!  There's no room at the inn Detroit 1-8-7.  Sorry.

Chase
Oh.  Wait.  This one's different because they're U.S. Marshalls.  How obsessed are we with this stuff?  Seriously.  How much authoritarian television can we take?

Hawaii Five-0
Another cop show.  I'm losing it.  Wait.  What?  Boomer from Battlestar Galactica is in it?  Hmmm...  Seriously, this one should be a little lighter in tone and has an interesting cast.  Grace Park is now making a career of playing formerly male parts in re-makes.  She will be playing me in twenty years when someone re-imagines this blog as a super-slick TV series.  Give this one a try.

The Defenders
I'm intrigued by this one.  Also, slightly repulsed.  I like the concept, slightly sleazy lawyers in Las Vegas.  Jerry O'Connell works in the role.  It's Jim Belushi I don't know about.  There was time I really liked Jim Belushi.  Then "According To Jim" lumbered across my TV screen for what seemed like a hundred years, looking like a live-action Family Guy.  I can't do it.  Watch it only if there's nothing else on.  It will rot your brain.

The Event
Mysterious stuff happens and you never get the answers you are looking for.  No, not the story of a trip to the DMV.  That's the plot of Los... I mean Flash Forw... I mean the Event.  Cats don't do serialized stories that take years to unfold.  Lost did well because it was unique.  Flash Forward didn't last past its first season.  This one might not make it to the halfway point.  Don't bother.  At best it will only get your hopes up... then dash them.

Hellcats
Whooo!   Yeah!!!  Finally a story for us!  Ashow about some badass biker cats that go around showing America how cool felines really are!  What?     It's not about cats?      What?     Cheerleaders?
Cheerleaders.  No.  Thank.  You.

Nikita
Watch it.  Maggie Q will make you forget all about the other twenty versions of the Le Femme Nikita story.  Trust me.  You want to see this one.  It might even help to wash away the painful memories of watching the Hellcats premiere.

My Generation
Probably the most creative new concept this season.  This one has its roots way back into the year 2000, when a film crew documented nine members of a high school's graduating class.  Now, the same crew is back with them to see how life has changed them.  Great idea!  Talk about long term planning!  These guys have waited ten years for a pay-off on their idea.  Now, they can mine it over and over if it's successful.  Think about it.  You check up on the same crew in 2015, then again in 2020, etc.  This is worth a look if you need a break from bleak, gritty cop shows and want to escape for some fluffy reality TV.

Law And Order: Los Angeles
Bleak, gritty cop show.

No Ordinary Family
Michael Chiklis gives the Fantastic Four one more try... but this time HE'S the star!  Seriously.  This show tries to mix too many ingredients into one package.  It's half police procedural, half family drama, and half super-hero story.  That's at least one half too many.  Avoid unless you are related to Michael Chiklis.

Outlaw
Another grim, gritty law-related show.  And its got Jimmy Smits.  Go away Jimmy.  Just go away.

Outsourced
This is one of those shows that has no middle ground.  It will either skyrocket to glory or people will riot and burn down the studio that produced it.  I'm betting it will skyrocket to glory.  Why?  Two Reasons.  1. It will provide some laughs and we need that after all of the grim, gritty law-related shows.
2. India + Office-style humor = hilarity

The Walking Dead
I am as over Zombies as I can possibly be.  It's a dead horse that keeps getting beaten, then rises up and tries to eat our brains.  This show should be a hit, but I don't think it will be.  Zombies will not hold the public's attention on a weekly basis.  On the upside, maybe it will be the final straw that causes America to finally shoot the dead horse in the head.

So there you have it.  There are probably some that I have missed.  If you want my thoughts on one that I didn't mention, drop me a line.  Bottom line, there is a lot of grim stuff out there this season.  Guess it is supposed to reflect the mood of the nation, but I think we use some lighter fare.  Go for the laughs.  My must-see show of the group: Nikita.  I can only dream that they cross-over with Hawaii Five-0.  Maggie Q and Grace Park on the same show?  Wow.

Bye for now kittens, come back tomorrow and i will formally introduce you to Gracie.

Neyland D. Catt

It's Fall Preview Time!

Hello once more my dear four-legged and upright friends!

Welcome back to your one-stop shop for intelligent and insightful feline commentary on the world around us! It has been a while hasn't it? I feel I owe my legion of fans (I don't care what Big Pinkie says about the Followers counter-I know there are millions of you lurking out there anonymously!) an explanation. By explanation, I mean a better and more accurate one than the great pink goof offered yesterday. It all started after my Old Man Winter post back in December...


There I was... out in the wilds with nothing but the stark white of snow all around me and the depths of blackest night above me. I was stalking my enemy, the one they called Old Man Winter, the foe of all cats everywhere. My companions had long since fallen by the wayside. Tiger, my closest ally, had spotted a field mouse and darted after it. I tried to stop him, but he was gone in an instant in the swirling snow. (In his defense, the mouse did call him names and threw rocks at him.) Gracie, the little grey ghost, had hidden under the bed when I mentioned going outside. She was useless to my quest. Anime, the fierce female warrior-cat, had fallen victim to the siren-call of the kibble dish shortly after plunging into the snow. So, I was alone.

I found the beast somewhere in the trees. It growled with an unearthly rage and leapt at me from the shadows. Through gritted teeth I fought it back as its grim fangs and poisonous talons came relentlessly at me. How long we fought, I do not know. Was it mere moments? Hours? Days? I could not say then and I still cannot. Time had lost all meaning in that tangle of fur, scale, and fang! I crawled back towards the house, badly injured and was found by Tiger. I told him that I had found Old Man Winter and slew him in the woods. Anime patted my brow gently and explained sadly that I had not in fact found Old Man Winter. It was merely a giant three-headed troll that attacked me that night.

Now then... most of you will have no trouble believing this perfectly reasonable tale and could see that it might take some time to properly recuperate from such a trying encounter. Big Pinkie, on the other hand, tells a completely different tale. In his version of the story, there are no trolls, no Old Man Winter, and no climactic battle between good and evil. He claims that I am just not as young as I used to be and that climbing trees at my age might not be such a good idea. I merely shake my head sadly and explain, "You weren't there man. You weren't there."*

So, there you have it. The real reason I have been missing from this space for so long. Now on to more pressing business: the future! Consider this a Fall Preview. No, not the TV Fall Preview, though we will get to a bit of that down the road. I mean a preview of what's to come here in the space over the next few months. I will be returning to some things I had planned to do early this year, like my celebrity interviews. Those will quite entertaining I assure you! Also, I will re-introduce the members of our little household for those of you who might have forgotten them. (I'm not sure I got around to all of them anyway!) I will bring you some tidbits from the set of Neyland: the Motion Picture and of course, I will continue to deliver insight into this crazy world of ours. Come back tomorrow won't you? I will comment on all the things I should have been commenting on over the last 8 months! In one post!!!

'till tomorrow my comrades-on-earth,
Neyland D. Catt

*- In Neyland's defense, I actually wasn't there, so who knows? ---Big Pinkie**

**- Sincere apologies to Terry Pratchett for stealing his asterix footnote thing for this post. ---Big Pinkie again.