Howdy kids. Neyland D. Catt back for a second post in two days. That's practically a record! I haven't bashed on all the Hollywood types in a while, so today is my day to get my fix! Prepare yourselves for a round of informative mockery of the latest happenings in Entertainment Town...
First up: Miley Cyrus smokes a bong in a video!
Gasp! Say it ain't so! Let's face it, Miley is not a little kid anymore. She is a young adult now. Young adults, especially those with lots of money and fame, see their IQ's drop by at least half for a period of around 8 to 10 years. They will do extraordinarily stupid things just because they have the option to. This is the period of time that nature uses to try and kill off the truly, terminally stupid. I won't even get into the debate of whether she was smoking salvia or marijuana. Really doesn't matter much. My gut tells me that Miley will survive her wild-child years with at least some of her dignity intact. However, she will probably end up on Dancing With The Stars at some point. Not sure what will remain of her dignity after that.
"The Hasselhoffs" Cancelled after 2 episodes!
Wow. Didn't even make it long enough to get re-runs to air forever in Germany. This is good news folks. This struck a blow for good taste across the world. Combine this with his hasty exit from Dancing With The Stars and you have a clear message: America is sick of David Hasselhoff! Seriously, dude, if you were a cat, you'd have used up all 9 lives 15 years ago. Give it up. The whole Zombie craze is starting to fade anyway.*
Racy Pics of Christina Aguilera leaked!
Not really sure this news. Christina has been "racy" for as long as I can remember. Maybe they were pictures of her fully clothed and being demure? It amazes me that stars are shocked when stuff like this comes out. Really?! You were surprised that pictures of you in some bondage outfit made it to the internet? There was someone standing right in front of you with a camera! Taking pictures! In this day and age, everyone and I do mean EVERYONE, has a digital gizmo on them at all times. Chances are it can take pictures. Or video. Or 3D. Or 4D with smell-o-vision. The point is, if you don't want the video of you making out with an armadillo showing up on the internet, then don't make out with the armadillo. Or at least check him for cameras first.
SpaceX launches Dragon capsule into orbit!
What does this have to do with Hollywood you might ask? Nothing. Except that once again, we sent a spaceship off the planet and missed the opportunity to send Lady GaGa with it!
See you kids later! I'd write more, but I have to go take a wiki-leak.**
Neyland D. Catt
*Neyland actually believes that David Hasselhoff is a zombie. I've tried correcting him, but he does offer up some compelling evidence.
**He has no idea what the whole Wikileaks thing is all about. He has simply borrowed the term to describe going to the bathroom. That's my boy.