Please allow me to re-introduce myself...

Hello to familiar faces, freshly acquired friends, and those just stopping by to see what the hubbub is all about.  It has been suggested that I should re-introduce myself, as there are a lot of new folks buzzing around the place.  It's quite possible that it might be a little confusing for newcomers who stumble into the middle of a rant about Garfield or the Biggest Loser.  So here goes:

I am Neyland D. Catt.  Yes.  A cat.  A feline.  There are tons of cats out there with blogs and many of them have been at this for lots longer than I have.  There is a community of sorts.  On most of these blogs you will find humorous pictures of cats, heartwarming stories, and useful tips.  They are wonderful.  Sadly, you will find almost none of that here.

Despite my best efforts, it would appear that we have a few semi-regular features here on the blog.  We have a fan letter column, inexplicably titled Letters From The Edge.  Cheerz and Jeerz will be returning soon as will another Urban Legends post.  Basically, I live in a household with two humans called Big Pinkie and the Lady, three other cats called Tiger, Anime, and Gracie, and I share stories about myself and the rest of the gang as well as my views on entertainment, pop culture, world events, and everything else under the sun.

Many visitors to the blog tell me that I'm funny.  This is quite odd, as I never intend to be humorous.  That's just the way my mind works.  Big Pinkie, on the other hand, seems to fancy himself quite the jokester.  He sometimes rips off Terry Pratchett by way of the little asterix gimmick.*

*This would be the little asterix gimmick he is referring to.  If you know of Terry Pratchett, I'm sure you will agree that he does it better.**

**If you know Terry Pratchett personally... please don't tell him.  We are allergic to lawyers.


Yeah.  That was annoying right?  Anyway.  I am a cat blogger who is here to entertain you.  I will use all that I have at my disposal to make that happen.  If you're not sure if this blog is for you, then take a few minutes to look back at some of our older posts.  We have had some doozies.  I have told terrifying halloween tales, interviewed a celebrity (which has turned into an all out war with Lady Gaga), written poetry, given insight into the Biggest Loser and Dancing With the Stars, and even occasionally posted a cute picture of a cat.

I think you will find something here to entertain you.  Please join us.  We are not a cult.  However, your adoration and worship is welcome.


Neyland D. Catt

A slightly sidewise view.  Get used to that.

What does Global Warming have to do with cats?

So here I am, basking in the last fading shaft of sunlight, thinking about Global Warming. This subject came up earlier in the day when Big Pinkie starting ranting on and on about it. Blah, blah, blah, climate change, blah. I nodded off once I realized he wasn't addressing me personally, but I couldn't help thinking about it again later. I decided that it would be invaluable for you all to have a cat's perspective on the matter. Who better than myself, with the application of such a nimble mind and inimitable wit to give you.... sorry. Lost my whole train of thought there. A bird flew past the window. A plump bird that was just a bit slower than the others... I'm digressing again.

Back to the subject at hand. Global Warming. As a cat, I personally see no issue with the prospect. Do you have any idea how difficult it is for a cat to get warm even in the best of conditions? We spend most of our time trying to pin down a human so we can leech away all of their body heat. That's not even considering what it's like for those who spend their days outdoors like animals! Poor souls.

I realize though, that you nearly-furless uprights might have a different view of the problem. After all, you really don't have anything left to shed when the temp starts rising and nobody really wants to see your flesh flapping around. The solution, I think, is obvious. Turn the temperature back down. Why is it so hard for you to figure that out? Just like last night, when the wind was blowing like a tornado and the rain was hammering down and I wanted to go outside. Big Pinkie comes and opens the door, then gets furious when I didn't go out. "He keeps scratching at the door but won't go out when I open the door!" he screamed. Well, obviously, I wanted to go out, but not in those conditions. Why didn't he just turn off the rain? Don't act like you humans can't do it. I see it all the time. That little rain booth in the crapper for instance.

Anyway, I'm sure I had a point around here somewhere. Call me if you find it because it seems to have escaped me. Ah. Yes. So, from a cat's perspective we want more warming. So, I have concocted a scheme to build a spaceship. I will call it Cat Star One. I will fly this wondrous rocket into the stratosphere (dare I say Catosphere?) and will claw a gigantic hole in your precious oh-zone layer. Upon reading this plan over my shoulder, Big Pinkie proceeded to laugh uncontrollably. That's right Big Pinkie, just keep laughing. Keep laughing.



Till the morrow good friends when I will tell you all about the Biggest Loser,

Neyland D. Cat