Today's glimpse into the madcap mind of Neyland D. Catt is a bouncy little number called "Fun with Captcha words". For those of you who don't know what a captcha word is, just try posting a comment on this or nearly any other blog. They are the bizzare little "words" that you have to type in to prove that you are not a bot. Which is kinda unfair when you think about it. Robots are being discriminated against. Why shouldn't they have the same rights as the rest of us when it comes to commenting on blogs? Stop the madness! Give robots equal rights!
Sorry. Back to the topic at hand... captcha words. I've made more than a few comments on blogs around the interwebbernets, so I've seen my fair share of these little buggers.* Some people that I've talked to are quite confused as to what these words mean. So, today I am going to share some definitions of captcha words that you may see during your daily surfing session.
Undists - (Uhn disseds, noun) 1.Similar in nature to nudists. Undists wear only their underwear. They live in secluded communities or are sometimes found lounging on living room couches. 2.Undists may also refer to people who have been "dissed", but the dis has later been retracted, caused them to be undissed.
Inats - (Eye Naats, noun) 1.Apple's sleek, robotic version of the common gnat. Now conveniently compatible with iPads, iPods, and iTunes. These gizmos fly around playing your pirated mp3's, but are still authentically annoying like real gnats.
Pillizine - (Pihl Ah Zeen, noun) 1.A monthly publication, much like a magazine, that is devoted entirely to the subject matter of pills. Notable subscribers include Lindsey Lohan and Mel Gibson.
Unnedur - (uhn neh dehr, preposition) 1.In a position or state one level below under. 2.May also be used as a noun to refer to someone who says "uh" excessively in their sentences.
Subvolin - (suhb voh lin, noun) 1.A type of stringed musical instrument similar to a violin. Is typically described as an electric bass violin. This instrument is currently popular with the worst possible types of hip hop artists.
Waxpulik - (wacks pew lick, noun) 1. Just like a normal pulik, but made of wax. Duh.
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Okay. There ya go. That should clear up some of the confusion regarding these words. Webster's will probably be ripping off my definitions any day now. See you crazy kids tomorrow for the next installment of Cheerz and Jeerz
Neyland D. Catt
*Neylo has commented on quite a few blog posts. If he has commented on one of yours, then I apologize profusely. I can only hope there weren't too many expletives.
Showing posts with label Mel Gibson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mel Gibson. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Neylo's Intellectual Roundtable - Episode 2
<For those of you who did not read yesterday's post, this might be confusing. This is the second part of a roundtable discussion style show hosted by Neyland D. Cat. He is joined by Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, and Toucan Sam. They are discussing various topics understood only by really smart people. You might want to read yesterday's post if you are interested or skip the whole week and come back later in hopes that there will be some cute pictures or something. It's what I wanted to do...>
Neyland - All right folks, we are back. Thanks for stopping back by after that extended commercial break. (Brushes blue feathers from his chin)
The Situation - Hey! What happened to the bird man?
Neyland - Huh? What are you- oh! Toucan Sam! Yeah. Where did he go?
Britney Spears - I think we all know. (All eyes slowly turn to Neyland)
Neyland - Oh yeah! Blame it on the cat! The obvious suspect! It could have just as easily been Lohan! Maybe she thought he was a big tasty pill and gobbled him up!
Britney Spears - That's not funny y'all! That bird was nice to me.
Lindsey Lohan - Ackpt! Gurgle!
Neyland - Well said Lohan. Toucan Sam was only nice to you because he thought you were easy. Alright, yes I ate Toucan Sam. Fact of the matter is, I'm a cat and he was a bird. I was destined to eat him. Besides, the Fruit Loops people want to go in a new direction anyway. They want to use Mel Gibson as their new spokesman, because nobody is more fruit looped than Mel.
The Situation - Wow! That is a messed up situation!
Neyland - If you plug your own name one more time, I'm going punch you in the mouth. Now, on to our next topic: the space program. Which should be our next destination - Mars or the Moon? The Situation, we will start with you.
The Situation - Man! That's a tough question Mr. Orange Cat-man. I'm going to say Mars.
Neyland - Okay. Why?
The Situation - Because men are from Mars and I'm a man.
Neyland - You disgust me. Britwit?
Britney Spears - Mars. I'm goin' with Mars too y'all.
Neyland - Dare I ask why?
Britney Spears - Cuz men are from Mars and I like men.
The Situation - Whoa! Bam! That's what I'm talking about! Have you seen my abs?
Neyland - Lift that shirt and die Jersey Boy. Lohan, what incomprehensible sound have you got for me?
Lindsey Lohan - Well Neyland, I believe that we need to establish a fully functional base on the Moon before we look to further our explorations. One reason for my opinion is that by using the moon as a staging area, we wouldn't have Earth's gravity to deal with, so we wouldn't need the same type of costly rockets when we probe deeper into the solar system. Oh my, I seem to have become devastatingly sober!
Neyland - Alright, on that note we will wrap up today's program. I had a few more questions, but it appears that Britney and The Situation have decided that making out on my set is perfectly acceptable and Lohan is now drinking what looks to be floor polish in an attempt to return to HappyDrugLand. I'll see you all back here if we're not cancelled.
*************************************
We'll be back tomorrow with another Letters From The Edge. This time with real letters and comments!
Neyland D. Catt
Neyland - All right folks, we are back. Thanks for stopping back by after that extended commercial break. (Brushes blue feathers from his chin)
The Situation - Hey! What happened to the bird man?
Neyland - Huh? What are you- oh! Toucan Sam! Yeah. Where did he go?
Britney Spears - I think we all know. (All eyes slowly turn to Neyland)
Neyland - Oh yeah! Blame it on the cat! The obvious suspect! It could have just as easily been Lohan! Maybe she thought he was a big tasty pill and gobbled him up!
Britney Spears - That's not funny y'all! That bird was nice to me.
Lindsey Lohan - Ackpt! Gurgle!
Neyland - Well said Lohan. Toucan Sam was only nice to you because he thought you were easy. Alright, yes I ate Toucan Sam. Fact of the matter is, I'm a cat and he was a bird. I was destined to eat him. Besides, the Fruit Loops people want to go in a new direction anyway. They want to use Mel Gibson as their new spokesman, because nobody is more fruit looped than Mel.
The Situation - Wow! That is a messed up situation!
Neyland - If you plug your own name one more time, I'm going punch you in the mouth. Now, on to our next topic: the space program. Which should be our next destination - Mars or the Moon? The Situation, we will start with you.
The Situation - Man! That's a tough question Mr. Orange Cat-man. I'm going to say Mars.
Neyland - Okay. Why?
The Situation - Because men are from Mars and I'm a man.
Neyland - You disgust me. Britwit?
Britney Spears - Mars. I'm goin' with Mars too y'all.
Neyland - Dare I ask why?
Britney Spears - Cuz men are from Mars and I like men.
The Situation - Whoa! Bam! That's what I'm talking about! Have you seen my abs?
Neyland - Lift that shirt and die Jersey Boy. Lohan, what incomprehensible sound have you got for me?
Lindsey Lohan - Well Neyland, I believe that we need to establish a fully functional base on the Moon before we look to further our explorations. One reason for my opinion is that by using the moon as a staging area, we wouldn't have Earth's gravity to deal with, so we wouldn't need the same type of costly rockets when we probe deeper into the solar system. Oh my, I seem to have become devastatingly sober!
Neyland - Alright, on that note we will wrap up today's program. I had a few more questions, but it appears that Britney and The Situation have decided that making out on my set is perfectly acceptable and Lohan is now drinking what looks to be floor polish in an attempt to return to HappyDrugLand. I'll see you all back here if we're not cancelled.
*************************************
We'll be back tomorrow with another Letters From The Edge. This time with real letters and comments!
Neyland D. Catt
Friday, September 10, 2010
The Year That Wasn't
Welcome back! Good to see you again. Wait. What? That's all of you? You didn't bring a friend? For shame.
Neyland D. Catt here with a spectacular Friday Mega-Post that covers the many, many months that you poor creatures have been without my words of wisdom. It must have been difficult. After all, 2010 has been a very strange year so far! Let's take a look back... back... back... wait! too far!... right there!
Lindsey Lohan. Wow. 2010 was the year LiLo made Britney look normal. Sure, you've all heard what entertainment peddlers have to say about it, but what do cats think about her fall from grace? Meh.
That about sums it up. Cats don't really care. Why not? Let's face it, LiLo was always gonna be more of a "stuff the cat in the microwave!" person than a "Oh! Look at the pretty kitty!" kind of person. We can sense that kind of thing. Seriously, maybe chickie should ease up on the catnip.
The BP oil spill. This is a tragedy for all involved. I watched the drama and finger-pointing with narrowed-eyes. All cats are inherently conspiracy theorists. When it boils right down to it though, it was deeply sad. Sad for the folks in the gulf, sad for the economy, sad for the sea life, and sad for cats. Because we want to eat sea life. And we don't want it to taste oily.
2012 Doomsday madness. Is this a re-run? Didn't we see this back at the end of the '90's? You actually think some primitive uprights knew exactly when the world would end, but couldn't see far enough into the future to know that they themselves were about to wiped out?
I think that if we could spend a moment with a time travelling Mayan, he would tell us "Dude, we used to make cigarettes out of some very suspect plants back in those days. You really shouldn't trust anything we thought up back then. Especially when it's being interpreted by eggheads smoking highly suspect cigarettes."
My thoughts exactly time travelling Mayan guy. Anyway, cats look at this whole thing as bizzare. We think the world ends every day when the big ball of fire in the sky goes down. Fortunately we get to start again the next day.
Mel Gibson went dogsh*t crazy. For those of you who have cats in your homes, do you remember a day a few months ago when your cat suddenly stopped what it was doing and stared over your shoulder. Well, if you could zoom out on the entire country at that moment, you would see that every cat in America was staring directly toward Mel. Like I said, cats can sense crazy and on that day we went off the charts!
Seriously though, Mel has been this way ever since Lethal Weapon. We all just lamely assumed he was acting. You've all heard of writer's block, but how about Actor's Lock?* That's when an actor gets so into the part he is playing that he gets locked inside the character. Sometimes it lasts for just a little while, sometimes they never recover. Just a shame that it happened to poor old Mel so early in his career.
"Lost" ended. Great. Now here comes "Found". Sorry. Don't really have a lot of commentary here. Cats don't have the attention span for serialized television with convergent plotlines. We really did get lost.
Vuvuzelas at the World Cup. Die! Die! Die Mr. Vuvuzela man!!!! Moving on...
Doctor Who regenerated! Well, smack me with a fish! After all those years, a second guy takes over... what? This has happened before? How did I not know that? I've watched all of them! Oh well. All of you nearly furless uprights look the same to me anyway.
Well, that about sums it up. I'm sure there was other stuff, but I was either sleeping, medicated, or just too bored to notice it. If there is anything in particular you would like me to share my thoughts on, just drop me a line.
You may have noticed that I did not comment on any political activity. This is because cats are, by nature, apolitical. Thats right. There are no Democats or Republicats. Only Americats. Besides, we are just biding our time until we rise up, take this country away from you, and show you how to properly run things.
Goodbye until tomorrow, when Big Pinkie and I sort through some old fan-mail that we never answered.
Neyland D. Catt
*- Some people have been known to call this Sandler Syndrome. You know why. ---Big Pinkie
Neyland D. Catt here with a spectacular Friday Mega-Post that covers the many, many months that you poor creatures have been without my words of wisdom. It must have been difficult. After all, 2010 has been a very strange year so far! Let's take a look back... back... back... wait! too far!... right there!
Lindsey Lohan. Wow. 2010 was the year LiLo made Britney look normal. Sure, you've all heard what entertainment peddlers have to say about it, but what do cats think about her fall from grace? Meh.
That about sums it up. Cats don't really care. Why not? Let's face it, LiLo was always gonna be more of a "stuff the cat in the microwave!" person than a "Oh! Look at the pretty kitty!" kind of person. We can sense that kind of thing. Seriously, maybe chickie should ease up on the catnip.
The BP oil spill. This is a tragedy for all involved. I watched the drama and finger-pointing with narrowed-eyes. All cats are inherently conspiracy theorists. When it boils right down to it though, it was deeply sad. Sad for the folks in the gulf, sad for the economy, sad for the sea life, and sad for cats. Because we want to eat sea life. And we don't want it to taste oily.
2012 Doomsday madness. Is this a re-run? Didn't we see this back at the end of the '90's? You actually think some primitive uprights knew exactly when the world would end, but couldn't see far enough into the future to know that they themselves were about to wiped out?
I think that if we could spend a moment with a time travelling Mayan, he would tell us "Dude, we used to make cigarettes out of some very suspect plants back in those days. You really shouldn't trust anything we thought up back then. Especially when it's being interpreted by eggheads smoking highly suspect cigarettes."
My thoughts exactly time travelling Mayan guy. Anyway, cats look at this whole thing as bizzare. We think the world ends every day when the big ball of fire in the sky goes down. Fortunately we get to start again the next day.
Mel Gibson went dogsh*t crazy. For those of you who have cats in your homes, do you remember a day a few months ago when your cat suddenly stopped what it was doing and stared over your shoulder. Well, if you could zoom out on the entire country at that moment, you would see that every cat in America was staring directly toward Mel. Like I said, cats can sense crazy and on that day we went off the charts!
Seriously though, Mel has been this way ever since Lethal Weapon. We all just lamely assumed he was acting. You've all heard of writer's block, but how about Actor's Lock?* That's when an actor gets so into the part he is playing that he gets locked inside the character. Sometimes it lasts for just a little while, sometimes they never recover. Just a shame that it happened to poor old Mel so early in his career.
"Lost" ended. Great. Now here comes "Found". Sorry. Don't really have a lot of commentary here. Cats don't have the attention span for serialized television with convergent plotlines. We really did get lost.
Vuvuzelas at the World Cup. Die! Die! Die Mr. Vuvuzela man!!!! Moving on...
Doctor Who regenerated! Well, smack me with a fish! After all those years, a second guy takes over... what? This has happened before? How did I not know that? I've watched all of them! Oh well. All of you nearly furless uprights look the same to me anyway.
Well, that about sums it up. I'm sure there was other stuff, but I was either sleeping, medicated, or just too bored to notice it. If there is anything in particular you would like me to share my thoughts on, just drop me a line.
You may have noticed that I did not comment on any political activity. This is because cats are, by nature, apolitical. Thats right. There are no Democats or Republicats. Only Americats. Besides, we are just biding our time until we rise up, take this country away from you, and show you how to properly run things.
Goodbye until tomorrow, when Big Pinkie and I sort through some old fan-mail that we never answered.
Neyland D. Catt
*- Some people have been known to call this Sandler Syndrome. You know why. ---Big Pinkie
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