Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Neylo's Intellectual Roundtable - Episode 2

<For those of you who did not read yesterday's post, this might be confusing.  This is the second part of a roundtable discussion style show hosted by Neyland D. Cat.  He is joined by Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, and Toucan Sam.  They are discussing various topics understood only by really smart people.  You might want to read yesterday's post if you are interested or skip the whole week and come back later in hopes that there will be some cute pictures or something.  It's what I wanted to do...>

Neyland - All right folks, we are back.  Thanks for stopping back by after that extended commercial break. (Brushes blue feathers from his chin)

The Situation - Hey!  What happened to the bird man?

Neyland - Huh?  What are you-  oh!  Toucan Sam!  Yeah.  Where did he go?

Britney Spears - I think we all know.  (All eyes slowly turn to Neyland)

Neyland - Oh yeah!  Blame it on the cat!  The obvious suspect!  It could have just as easily been Lohan! Maybe she thought he was a big tasty pill and gobbled him up!

Britney Spears - That's not funny y'all!  That bird was nice to me.

Lindsey Lohan - Ackpt!  Gurgle!

Neyland - Well said Lohan.  Toucan Sam was only nice to you because he thought you were easy.  Alright, yes I ate Toucan Sam.  Fact of the matter is, I'm a cat and he was a bird.  I was destined to eat him.  Besides, the Fruit Loops people want to go in a new direction anyway.  They want to use Mel Gibson as their new spokesman, because nobody is more fruit looped than Mel.

The Situation - Wow!  That is a messed up situation!

Neyland - If you plug your own name one more time, I'm going punch you in the mouth.  Now, on to our next topic: the space program.  Which should be our next destination - Mars or the Moon?  The Situation, we will start with you.

The Situation - Man!  That's a tough question Mr. Orange Cat-man.  I'm going to say Mars.

Neyland - Okay.  Why?

The Situation - Because men are from Mars and I'm a man.

Neyland - You disgust me.  Britwit?

Britney Spears - Mars.  I'm goin' with Mars too y'all.

Neyland - Dare I ask why?

Britney Spears - Cuz men are from Mars and I like men.

The Situation - Whoa!  Bam!  That's what I'm talking about!  Have you seen my abs?

Neyland - Lift that shirt and die Jersey Boy.  Lohan, what incomprehensible sound have you got for me?

Lindsey Lohan - Well Neyland, I believe that we need to establish a fully functional base on the Moon before we look to further our explorations.  One reason for my opinion is that by using the moon as a staging area, we wouldn't have Earth's gravity to deal with, so we wouldn't need the same type of costly rockets when we probe deeper into the solar system.  Oh my, I seem to have become devastatingly sober!

Neyland - Alright, on that note we will wrap up today's program.  I had a few more questions, but it appears that Britney and The Situation have decided that making out on my set is perfectly acceptable and Lohan is now drinking what looks to be floor polish in an attempt to return to HappyDrugLand.  I'll see you all back here if we're not cancelled.

We'll be back tomorrow with another Letters From The Edge.  This time with real letters and comments!

Neyland D. Catt


  1. Our human says thanks for making her laugh at the end of the second very stressful day this week! :-D

  2. Following you from Weird Me Wednesday. Your story is very intuitive and funny. Thanks for sharing.


  3. your cat looks just like my fat cat Simba! Aww! New follower from mid week mingle, hope you can return the follow.