Whew! Glad to be back!

Hello all. It's been a bit since I posted anything. Big Pinkie got sick and I was left to my own devices (so to speak) when dealing with the blog. I attempted to post some really classic stuff, but it appears that my technical skills are not as amazing as I led myself to believe.* After a few moments alone with the computer, things were going alarmingly bad. I think I may have broken the internet at one point. Not just my little slice of it, mind you. I mean the whole shebang. If you experienced a loss of service or connection at some point during the last week... that was my fault.

Big Pinkie is feeling much better now, as if any of you are concerned about that. I'm sure you are more excited to know that I am well and I am back on schedule. The big doof's illness and my own inability to operate a computer were only two reasons for the lack of posting. There is another. There has been a new addition to the household. A new feline addition. We are not amused. Not. Amused.

The Lady's boss apparently suckered her with some sob story about a down-on-its-luck kitty who needed a good home. Bah! Hogwash! This cat is obviously a no-good delinquent who is looking to muscle in on our hard earned luxury! She's not fooling us. We won't have it. Anyway, I'll be back tomorrow with an update on what I call... Cat Wars Episode One: A New Dope.

Neyland D. Catt


* Neyland is his own personal adviser. He leads himself by the nose. He convinces himself to do things against his own best interests (and those of others). He also advises himself on legal and financial matters. He says his is the only opinion he trusts.

Halloween Tales To Terrify! The Pumpkin People

                            
Okay, here is the long-awaited second Halloween story.  It grew into a much longer piece than I thought!  Beware.  This one might actually be a little creepy!




                                                       The Pumpkin People
                                                                         by
                                                            Neyland D. Catt


     There once was a sleep little place called PumpkinTown.*  In this town lived the pumpkin people, a happy and care free lot.  They would spend their days happily rolling around the town square and the fields, toiling as only pumpkins do.  Their orange skins would light up like the sun as they sang and danced their merry jigs.
     One happy autumn day, a new pumpkin came to town.  His name was Jack.  He came to live in an abandoned building near the town square.  Jack made his room in the upstairs and boarded up the windows of the empty shop below.  Each morning, the sounds of hammers and saws could be heard from behind the boards.  One day, a pumpkin named Peter happened upon jack on his way to the market.  He asked Jack why he had boarded up the windows.
     "I am making a new shop inside," he said.  "I didn't want to spoil the surprise, so I have been fixing it up in secret."
     "That is marvelous!" Peter exclaimed.  "What type of shop will it be?"
     Jack looked around to see that no other pumpkins were listening, then leaned in close to Peter to whisper, "It will be a most wonderful pie shop.  Don't tell anyone!  I want it to be a surprise!"
     "You can count on me Jack!" Peter declared enthusiastically.  "I can keep a secret!"
     So Peter the Pumpkin rolled away gleefully, guarding the secret of PumpkinTown's new pie shop.  He kept his word, even when his friend Polly and Mayor Preston Pumpkin asked him about it.  He would merely shake his head and smile.
     The days passed slowly and all the while the leaves turned to brilliant shades of fire and began to drift down like a soft rain.  One day, Peter came upon Polly and several other young pumpkins talking in a most dramatic way.  Polly herself seemed quite distraught.  Peter made his way over to ask what was the matter.
     "Oh Peter!  It's awful!  Old Perry Pumpkin has vanished without a trace!" she declared.
     "Vanished?  No one knows where he is?" Peter asked, aghast.
     "No one!   He's been gone for two days!"
     Peter left the group with a heavy heart.  This was surely a tragedy and tragedies simply didn't happen in PumpkinTown!  His spirits were lifted when he passed by Jack's place and saw a sign proclaiming tomorrow to be the Grand Opening of Jack's Pie Shop.  He rolled gleefully all the way home.
     The next day arrived at last and Peter Pumpkin raced down to Jack's Pie Shop.  He desperately wanted to be the first to lay eyes upon what would surely be a wonder!  He turned the corner to find that there were already several others there before him, including Polly.  Peter could not contain his excitement, but paused to speak to Polly.
     "Have you been inside yet?" he asked breathlessly.
     "Oh yes, Peter!  It's simply wonderful!  Jack has made the tastiest pie I have ever had the pleasure of eating," she exclaimed.  "Hurry inside before it's all gone.  I won't keep you."
     "Alright," Peter said.  "Perhaps we can talk later then?"
     "I don't know," Polly said thoughtfully.  "Jack has asked me to come by later.  He says he might show me how the pies are made.  Imagine me, working in a magical pie shop!"
     Peter laughed as Polly rolled away, but there was a small hint of jealousy brewing.  He liked Jack, but the idea of Polly spending extra time with him made Peter nervous for some reason.  Polly was his friend after all.
     Peter pushed the thought aside and rushed inside the pie shop.  There was Jack, surrounded by eager pumpkins, desperate for a piece of his already popular pie.  Peter waited in line and watched hopelessly as piece after piece was taken from the pan and sold.  He arrived at the counter and looked dejectedly at the empty pan.  There was none left.  Jack, however, merely chuckled.
     "You didn't think I would have a grand opening without making sure that you got a piece of pie did you?" he laughed as he produced a small plate from behind the counter.  "I saved this one just for you."
     Peter thanked him graciously and took the plate of orange-hued pie longingly.  His first taste was magical.  The flavor was like nothing else he had ever tasted!  It was full of spices and the texture was smooth and rich.  He devoured the rest voraciously and left not a crumb behind.
     "Thanks Jack!  I'll be back tomorrow for another!" he exclaimed.  Jack gave another chuckle and returned to his work.
     Peter left the shop and was rolling blissfully homeward.  He was stopped near his house by Mayor Preston Pumpkin.  The old mayor was a figure of great renown in PumpkinTown.  One would never miss an opportunity to converse with their venerable leader.
     "Peter, where are you off to?" the mayor inquired.
     "Home sir.  I need a nap after that tasty pie!"
     "Very well.  See that you are not out too late tonight.  Old Perry is still missing and now no one can find Petunia Pumpkin either," the mayor said gravely.
     "Yes sir," Peter replied obediently.  He then continued down the path to his home, slightly troubled.  One disappearance was unusual enough.  Two was unheard of!  He went to his room right away and thoughts of missing pumpkins vanished in a sleepy haze.
     The next day found Peter once more hurrying to Jack's shop, determined this time to be near the front of the line.  He was fifth and ravenously devoured his plump piece of pie.  The line was still snaking into the street when he left.  He found a small group of pumpkins huddled near an old tree across the street from the shop.  He wandered over, nearly in a daze, to talk to them.
     "Hey Peter," Patrick Pumpkin said, greeting him conspiratorially.  "Have you seen Polly?"
     "No," Peter replied, suddenly nervous.  "Wasn't she here?"
     "She wasn't.  We all thought she would be one of the first in line for pie this morning, or maybe she would be here helping Jack make them," Patrick said.
     "I'll go to her house and see if she is there," Peter said frantically.  "I hope she isn't ill!"
     Peter left the others in a hurry.  He hadn't said what he really feared - that she had disappeared like the others.  He arrived at Polly's house to find her mother frantic with worry.  She was rolling back and forth in a tizzy.
     "Oh Peter!  Where could she be?" she asked.
     "I don't know, but I'm sure she is fine," Peter said in an attempt to console her.  "Where did you see her last?"
     "I don't remember.  Oh I'm afraid I'm just not much use," Polly's mother wailed.  "Wait!  The last time I saw her was just before she left to meet Jack at the pie shop last night!"
     "Don't worry.  I'll find her," Peter said before leaving in a rush.
     Peter hurried home to gather a few things and make a plan of action.  Horrible suspicions and ghastly worries were swirling in his head.  Polly was last seen heading to the pie shop.  Jack had made no mention of seeing Polly in the morning or the night before.  Peter had made up his mind - he was going to have a look inside Jack's pie shop!
     Peter waited until night had well and truly fallen before setting out.  There was a chill wind rustling through the bare tree limbs.  The moon hung high in the sky like a baleful eye glaring down on PumpkinTown.  Peter was startled as an owl screeched loudly and took to the air from a skeletal tree behind him.  He drew a deep breath and hurried to the shop, making sure to keep to the shadows.
     The pie shop was dark and ominous as Peter approached the door.  Not a single light was seen inside.  Darkness draped around it like a cloak.  Peter glanced into the street to ensure that no one was watching, then pried open the door with a tool he had brought from home.  The door swung open with a creak.  Peter winced, hoping no one had heard.  He crept inside and pulled the door shut behind him.  He lit the candle that he had taken from his bedroom and gave a long look around the interior of the shop.  The counter was empty and shrouded in shadows.  The smell of the spiced pies still lingered in the air, but gone was the sweetness.  Now it was stifling and overpowering.  Seeing no one about, Peter sidled around the counter.
     Beyond the counter was the kitchen.  There were pots, pans, and ovens for cooking.  Cabinets and cupboards filled the room.  On one he found a large cutting board and an assortment of long carving knives.  The sight of them gave him a chill, despite the fact that he had seen their like in his own home without any misgivings.  In the dark, everything took on a sinister aspect.  Peter scanned the kitchen and saw nothing out of the ordinary.  He had almost decided that he had been silly to come to the shop, but then he saw the large door in the back of the room.  He had missed it on his initial glance because of the curtain pulled over it.
     Peter rolled slowly to the door, fear and suspense filling him nearly to bursting.  He tried the handle.  It turned.  With great trepidation, he opened the door.  What he saw there forever changed Peter Pumpkin.  Inside the pantry were the ghastly remains of three pumpkins!  Polly, Perry, and Petunia Pumpkin were lying lifelessly in a heap of shells below the shelves!  Peter was filed with revulsion, then fear, then nausea as he realized what he was looking at.  Jack had made his pies out of them!  As his eyes fell on Polly, Peter's nausea turned to a slow simmering rage.  He walked with purpose from the pantry, the candle gripped tightly in one hand.  He snatched up a long carving knife with the other and crept to the stairs.
     The next morning the inhabitants of PumpkinTown found that Peter Pumpkin had gone missing, but this discovery was nothing compared to the grisly scene in Jack's Pie Shop.  The Mayor and his men found Polly and the others in the pantry after Jack had failed to open his shop to the gathered masses.  They searched all day for Peter and Jack, but found no trace of either.  The town was frantic, as they had come to realize that one of the two had brutally murdered Polly and the others.  Their search ended that night, as the horrifying visage of Jack stared down from the roof of his shop, his head opened up, his insides scooped out, a macabre face carved into his shell, and a single candle shining out from within.
     Peter Pumpkin was never seen again in PumpkinTown, but on crisp and dark October evenings evidence of his passing can still be seen.  Beware Peter Pumpkin.  Beware his candle.  Beware his knife.

*********************

Yikes!  I think I scared myself.  Glad I'm not a pumpkin.  See ya tomorrow kiddies!


*Oddly enough, the town I live in was once called Pumpkintown.

Letters from the edge #5

Hello all and welcome to the halfway point of another week.  You're almost to the weekend.  Don't give up now.  Today brings another installment of Letters from the edge.  However, this time we are going to respond to comments from some of our lovely readers and not the strange stuff we find in our e-mail inbox.*  We have not changed the names to protect the guilty.  If you don't want your comment printed in future editions, just let me know.  I will cower before your righteous anger and bend to your will.  Let's begin...

#1

We're wondering if you're writing a book. If not, do seriously consider it. And what about your film?
Kea




Well Kea, we are indeed considering writing a book.  There are, however, several problems.  First and foremost is the fact that no one would publish it.  This is closely followed by the fact that no one would read it if it were.  The third issue is that we are basically lazy and have enough trouble keeping up with a blog.  If there are ever enough people interested in reading a book by Neyland D. Catt, we might have to suck it up and do a little work.


As for the film... work continues on the project, but animation is sadly a slow process.  Computers and some really great software have sped up the process greatly, but it is still tedious and labor-intensive.  We are probably looking at sometime around Christmas for the debut.  Always nice to hear from you Kea and thanks for your support!




#2
I have to say that Heathcliff is definitely a much better cat than Garfield... although I'm prone to say that his comic self could attempt to stay out of trouble a little more often... his lawyer fees must cost his family an arm and a leg ;)
heather@actingbalanced.com


I agree completely.  I don't want to start an anti-Garfield/pro-Garfield war here though.  Let's save that energy for Lady GaGa and her diabolical friends.  Good ol' Heathcliff probably bankrupted his family.  I'm assuming that's why he is no longer on the air.  He's probably hanging out with MC Hammer and Willie Nelson trying to regain some of their former glory and financial stability.  Maybe they can organize a fund raising concert!




#3
We feel you bring a bit of something akin to Monty Python's Flying Circus crossed with Pee Wee Herman's Playhouse to the CB...keep it coming!
Teri and the cats of Furrydance


Wow!  That's high praise indeed!  Now I can't stop imagining what it would have been like if Pee Wee Herman were a member of the Monty Python troupe.  I'm not sure if it would have been entertaining or disturbing!  Pee Wee and the Holy Grail would have been a timeless classic though.  Probably would have won an Oscar.




#4
I liked your Cheerz and Jeerz...well, I liked the cheerz!
Brian


Thanks Brian!  We love hearing from you!  The Cheerz and Jeerz post seemed to be pretty popular.  We are probably going to make that another of our semi-regular features.  Nothing here is on a very regular schedule.  We are very much flying by the seat of our pants!  And I don't even wear pants!**




#5
I am your newest follower from the blog hop!  Follow me back!!!!!
too many to list here@mostblogs


All right!  At last I have a follower!  Maybe soon I will even have a disciple!  Now then my follower, you must follow my orders very carefully.  Even if they sometimes involve personal peril.  If you follow my lead then the western hemisphere will soon be under our control!  Wait a minute... follow you back?  I don't think you understand how this works.  One of us has to be the leader.  Me.  Oh.  Big Pinkie just explained this one to me.  He's worried that the person that posted this comment might not want it to be printed.  I explained that they probably will never read it anyway.  Thanks to all of you who have commented since this blog started!  You make it worth our while!


Come back tomorrow for another Halloween Tale To Terrify!***


Neyland D. Catt




* I don't even know where the stuff we find in our inbox comes from.  Seriously... whoever you are, we don't want to buy any viagra!


** Don't let Neylo fool you.  He sometimes wears pants.  Tiny little pants.  They are green.  I will pay for this comment later.


*** Yeah.  I know.  We promised this like two weeks ago.  Remember, we are basically lazy.


                                    ----Big Pinkie

Neylo's Intellectual Roundtable - Episode 2

<For those of you who did not read yesterday's post, this might be confusing.  This is the second part of a roundtable discussion style show hosted by Neyland D. Cat.  He is joined by Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, and Toucan Sam.  They are discussing various topics understood only by really smart people.  You might want to read yesterday's post if you are interested or skip the whole week and come back later in hopes that there will be some cute pictures or something.  It's what I wanted to do...>


Neyland - All right folks, we are back.  Thanks for stopping back by after that extended commercial break. (Brushes blue feathers from his chin)

The Situation - Hey!  What happened to the bird man?

Neyland - Huh?  What are you-  oh!  Toucan Sam!  Yeah.  Where did he go?

Britney Spears - I think we all know.  (All eyes slowly turn to Neyland)

Neyland - Oh yeah!  Blame it on the cat!  The obvious suspect!  It could have just as easily been Lohan! Maybe she thought he was a big tasty pill and gobbled him up!

Britney Spears - That's not funny y'all!  That bird was nice to me.

Lindsey Lohan - Ackpt!  Gurgle!

Neyland - Well said Lohan.  Toucan Sam was only nice to you because he thought you were easy.  Alright, yes I ate Toucan Sam.  Fact of the matter is, I'm a cat and he was a bird.  I was destined to eat him.  Besides, the Fruit Loops people want to go in a new direction anyway.  They want to use Mel Gibson as their new spokesman, because nobody is more fruit looped than Mel.

The Situation - Wow!  That is a messed up situation!

Neyland - If you plug your own name one more time, I'm going punch you in the mouth.  Now, on to our next topic: the space program.  Which should be our next destination - Mars or the Moon?  The Situation, we will start with you.

The Situation - Man!  That's a tough question Mr. Orange Cat-man.  I'm going to say Mars.

Neyland - Okay.  Why?

The Situation - Because men are from Mars and I'm a man.

Neyland - You disgust me.  Britwit?

Britney Spears - Mars.  I'm goin' with Mars too y'all.

Neyland - Dare I ask why?

Britney Spears - Cuz men are from Mars and I like men.

The Situation - Whoa!  Bam!  That's what I'm talking about!  Have you seen my abs?

Neyland - Lift that shirt and die Jersey Boy.  Lohan, what incomprehensible sound have you got for me?

Lindsey Lohan - Well Neyland, I believe that we need to establish a fully functional base on the Moon before we look to further our explorations.  One reason for my opinion is that by using the moon as a staging area, we wouldn't have Earth's gravity to deal with, so we wouldn't need the same type of costly rockets when we probe deeper into the solar system.  Oh my, I seem to have become devastatingly sober!

Neyland - Alright, on that note we will wrap up today's program.  I had a few more questions, but it appears that Britney and The Situation have decided that making out on my set is perfectly acceptable and Lohan is now drinking what looks to be floor polish in an attempt to return to HappyDrugLand.  I'll see you all back here if we're not cancelled.
*************************************

We'll be back tomorrow with another Letters From The Edge.  This time with real letters and comments!

Neyland D. Catt

Neylo's Intellectual Roundtable - Episode 1

Hello and welcome to the first episode of Neylo's Intellectual Roundtable. I am your host, Neyland D. Catt and today I am bringing you a gathering of the nation's foremost intellectual giants to discuss some hot-button issues. Trust me when I tell you that these are the big brains. The Einsteins. Joining me today are Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, who is a self-professed genius of working out and stuff. Next to him is Britney Spears, an expert in re-animation. She is obviously tops in her field, as she has resurrected her own career more times than a Night of The Living Dead movie. Beside Brit is, of course, Lindsey Lohan, who is an expert at making people believe she is important. And finally we have Toucan Sam, beloved cartoon mascot. he is an expert at being a cereal whore. Alright, let's begin...

Neyland - Our first topic tonight is Satire in the Enlightenment. Who was the more influential satirist: Voltaire or Samuel Johnson? We'll start with Britney Spears.

Britney - Uh. What now?

Neyland - Voltaire or Johnson, Brit.

Britney - Dang y'all! That's a tough one, y'all!

Neyland - Nevermind. Situation?

The Situation - I'd just like to say "What's up?" to everybody out there watching! I'm up here interlectualizing to prove there's more to me than just this fantastic set of abs. (Stands up and removes shirt to show abs)

Neyland - Whatever. Who was more influential?

The Situation - I'm really not sure which of them guys was more influenza. Can I phone a friend?

Neyland - Wrong show there abs of steel.

The Situation - I just hate to get it wrong, you know?

Neyland - There's no right or wrong answer wise guy. You don't think this is a game show do you? There's no prize. There's not even a winner. This is just a discussion.

The Situation - Uh oh. Looks like we got ourselves a situation! (Grins lamely at the camera)

Neyland - Hmm. No, I'm not sure we do. Next. Lohan... Voltaire or Johnson?

LiLo - Ack!

Neyland - Lohan! Are you literally snorting cocaine on my set??

LiLo - Whooooo! Look at my junk!!! (Lifts skirt. Thankfully the censor bar saves the day)

Neyland - Good grief. Toucan Sam, what do you have for me?

Toucan Sam - I believe that Samuel Johnson's works were in some ways derivative of Voltaire's as well as being counterpoints to them. I find his characterizations more one-dimensional than those from, say, Candide. Voltaire's characters evolve and grow as we all do in life. It's for that reason that I personally believe Voltaire's works to be superior.

Neyland - Wow. That's good stuff there Toucan.

Toucan Sam - I just follow my nose old boy!

Neyland - Alright, our next topic is the Gaza Strip. Who, if anyone, has the right to settle there? Let's start with Britwit again.

Britney Spears - Um. Everybody?

Neyland - Wow. I suppose that's remarkable in its own way. Your answer almost seemed to show some tiny spark of comprehension. I mean, you at least seemed to understand that I was asking a question that time.

Britney Spears - Um. Am I supposed to flash my junk like LiLo now?

Neyland - No. Nobody needs to see that again. Speaking of Lohan...

Lindsey Lohan - Uck! Blorp!

Neyland - Aw geez! Lohan just hurled all over the set! Cut to commercial!

The Situation - Aaaghh! It's on my abs!!!

Neyland - We'll be right back after this folks...
***************

Back tomorrow with part two!

The Top 10 Things I Care About But Shouldn't

Hello folks! Welcome back to Neyland D. Catt's little slice of the virtual pie. It's a Thursday and there is probably some blog hoppin' going on around here somewhere. If you are new here... read the previous post. It will explain a small bit of the insanity you are currently experiencing. Some of the insanity is inexplicable. Some of it, well frankly, you brought with you. Now then, it's time for something a little different. A Top 10 list. Yep. I know. Everybody has one. I am now guilty of falling into lockstep with the notorious "Joneses". Here we go...


10. Miley Cyrus and her new video.
I know I really shouldn't care, but for some reason I keep reading articles about this contreversy. Perhaps it's because I see the probable future. Another Britney/Lindsey/Lady GaGa. That frightens me more than anything else Halloween can conjure up. This child starlet thing never ends well. If you know a young starlet, pull her away from the toxic Hollywood lifestyle now before it's too late! All in all though, the video wasn't as bad as I expected.

9. Dancing With The Stars.
Why?? WHY?! Why do I still pay attention to this? I am beginning to suspect that there are latent masochistic tendencies in my genes. Fortunately, I have seen enough of "The Situation" on tis show that I never need to watch Jersey Shore. Ever. At least it may have finally killed Hasselhoff's career.*

8. Halloween.
I should hate Halloween on principle because of its negative stereotyping of cats, but instead I'm writing Halloween Tales To Terrify and poetry about it. Geez. Maybe I'm just a sellout.

7. The price of tea in China.
I probably shouldn't care, but someone has to.

6. Iran's nuclear program.
Cats have little interest in politics, but this Ahmedinejadabob guy is standing in my way on the path to world domination. What a nutbar. Really, is anyone comfortable with him having access to a nuke? I mean, even he is probably like... "Whoa! Who let me get my hands on this stuff? Who knows what I might do?"

5. Facebook.
Oh I'm not on it. But I am fascinated by it. I watch people spend literally hours doing essentially nothing, but doing it fastidiously and emphatically. It's like watching a train wreck. A train wreck where the train doesn't actually wreck, but everyone is injured anyway.

4. My animated short film.
I shouldn't care because Big Pinkie is slow. By the time he is finished with it, Ahmedinejad will have blown us all to kingdom come with his crazy nuke.**

3. Oprah.
Sure, she seems nice. But I suspect that she might be number two on my list after the nutbar from Iran.

2. Lindsey Lohan's mental state.
See number 10 for a prologue. Seriously, we and the tabloids bear at least some of the blame. We love to see celebrities fall and the tabloids help that failure along. As soon as a teen starlet nears her peak, the tabloids are shoving 500 bucks at some seedy guy in a club saying, "Here, now take this bag of cocaine over there to that little girl. There's an extra 500 in it for you if you can get her to snort it off this picture of the Pope!"

1. My Followers Counter.
I really, really shouldn't care. But every day I sneak a peek. Just to make sure someone is listening.
*******************

So there you have it. My first Top 10 list. I hope you enjoyed it. It might be the last. Ten is a lot. Maybe a Top 2 next time! Anyway, I have to go... I have a Dancing With The Stars DVR'ed.


Neyland D. Catt


*David Hasselhoff's career is like a vampire. It can't be killed by conventional methods. Dancing With The Stars may have driven a stake through its heart, but someone still has to cut off the head. Otherwise, he'll back with something to make Knight Rider look cool.

**This is simply not true. Cats have no patience. I will be hard at work on the short this weekend.

---Big Pinkie

Please allow me to re-introduce myself...

Hello to familiar faces, freshly acquired friends, and those just stopping by to see what the hubbub is all about.  It has been suggested that I should re-introduce myself, as there are a lot of new folks buzzing around the place.  It's quite possible that it might be a little confusing for newcomers who stumble into the middle of a rant about Garfield or the Biggest Loser.  So here goes:

I am Neyland D. Catt.  Yes.  A cat.  A feline.  There are tons of cats out there with blogs and many of them have been at this for lots longer than I have.  There is a community of sorts.  On most of these blogs you will find humorous pictures of cats, heartwarming stories, and useful tips.  They are wonderful.  Sadly, you will find almost none of that here.

Despite my best efforts, it would appear that we have a few semi-regular features here on the blog.  We have a fan letter column, inexplicably titled Letters From The Edge.  Cheerz and Jeerz will be returning soon as will another Urban Legends post.  Basically, I live in a household with two humans called Big Pinkie and the Lady, three other cats called Tiger, Anime, and Gracie, and I share stories about myself and the rest of the gang as well as my views on entertainment, pop culture, world events, and everything else under the sun.

Many visitors to the blog tell me that I'm funny.  This is quite odd, as I never intend to be humorous.  That's just the way my mind works.  Big Pinkie, on the other hand, seems to fancy himself quite the jokester.  He sometimes rips off Terry Pratchett by way of the little asterix gimmick.*

*This would be the little asterix gimmick he is referring to.  If you know of Terry Pratchett, I'm sure you will agree that he does it better.**

**If you know Terry Pratchett personally... please don't tell him.  We are allergic to lawyers.


Yeah.  That was annoying right?  Anyway.  I am a cat blogger who is here to entertain you.  I will use all that I have at my disposal to make that happen.  If you're not sure if this blog is for you, then take a few minutes to look back at some of our older posts.  We have had some doozies.  I have told terrifying halloween tales, interviewed a celebrity (which has turned into an all out war with Lady Gaga), written poetry, given insight into the Biggest Loser and Dancing With the Stars, and even occasionally posted a cute picture of a cat.

I think you will find something here to entertain you.  Please join us.  We are not a cult.  However, your adoration and worship is welcome.


Neyland D. Catt

A slightly sidewise view.  Get used to that.